True To Ourselves
by Canonisation
Summary: Frieda has decided to become a doctor, thanks to Penny's powers of persuasion. But is she having second thoughts?
1. Chapter 1

Title: True To Ourselves

Author: Canonisation

Pairing: Frieda And Penny

Rating: 15, to be safe

Set right after 13x13, 'China In Your Hands'. Contains spoilers for that episode, and will feature some mild sexual stuff.

Synopsis: Frieda's going to become a doctor, thanks to Penny's persuasion. But is she having second thoughts?

* * *

1

* * *

Penny Valentine wandered back from the bar and sat back down next to Frieda Petrenko, setting down the bottle of champagne on their table a little more forcefully than she had intended. "There!" she said happily. "Champagne!"

Frieda stared at her without comprehension. "To celebrate," Penny said by way of explanation.

"Celebrate what? The fact that I am no longer nurse, and will no longer be bothering you?" Frieda frowned. "Funny thing to celebrate while I am still here."

"Don't be silly!" Penny punched here lightly on the arm. "Celebrating a new chapter in your life - of course! I mean, you'll be a doctor soon. Fulfilling all that potential at last. Worth celebrating, right?"

Frieda raised an eyebrow. "It seems one of us is doing more celebrating than other. How many drinks have you had already? Or are you just lightweight?" She glanced at the number of empty glasses. "Never mind - it is lightweight."

"Don't be grumpy." Penny poured a glass of champagne for both of them, then looked at Frieda with a small frown. "Come to think of it, why are you so grumpy? You've been scowly all evening. I mean, more scowly than you normally are."

Frieda took the proffered glass and downed it in one gulp. "It has been strange day. Was not expecting all this when I came in."

Penny couldn't argue with that. It had, indeed, been a strange day. Getting used to Malick's rather odd ways and figuring out the AAU's new dynamic was still something she was working on. She had also been hoping against hope that Ollie wouldn't embarrass himself too badly, which he hadn't exactly managing to do on a regular basis at the moment.

However, Frieda's shock announcement that she was being laid off - right away - that morning had been like a blow to the gut. Suddenly, one of the few people she considered a friend in the hospital was leaving. It was the sort of thing that made her want to start smoking again.

The day had then gone from bad to worse as she had tried to get Frieda to consider applying her not inconsiderable talent as a doctor, which had lead to Frieda's secret being revealed, leading her to lash out at Penny. The rest of the day after that had then been spent trying to show everyone what a great doctor Frieda could be, while also trying to make sure that there was no lingering resentment on Frieda's part. Penny imagined that being on Frieda's bad side was not a good place to be.

It had been a mixed success. Frieda had definitely outshone Oliver, but didn't seem to have impressed Malick all that much, despite Penny's initial hopes. However, after what had seemed to be a blazing row with Malick, Frieda had decided to apply to be a doctor, and didn't seem to bear TOO much ill will towards Penny.

Glancing over at Frieda, Penny couldn't help noticing that her eyes kept darting over to Malick, seated at the other side of the bar. She'd only heard a bit of their row, but whatever was said, it had been enough to spur her into action. Penny couldn't read Malick at all. She'd thought Frieda was impressing him, but then there was that argument. She honestly couldn't figure that man out yet.

Not that figuring men out was something she was particularly skilled at, she thought ruefully, and chuckled a bit.

"What?"

Penny looked at Frieda. "I'm sorry?"

"You go quiet for long time, stare off into space, then laugh for no reason. Is this normal for when you are drunk?"

Penny poured herself another glass, then Frieda. "I'm not drunk, okay? It's just...I'm happy. You know? Glad you're not leaving."

Frieda took another gulp. "Why?"

"Why am I happy you're not leaving? Cause you're a great nurse...and I think you could be a great doctor. Come on, I mean, not meaning to be rude or anything, but you're..."

"No - I meant, why do you care so much? Why not just let me go - more nurses will come and replace me. You would forget me in few weeks."

Penny set her glass down. "Don't say that! You know, we got off on the wrong foot, and...and we haven't got on all the time...and you seem to delight in making fun of me sometimes..."

"You are very easy to make fun of."

"But I...I like you. I just...I consider you a friend...not just a colleague. And you are a great nurse, you know." She blinked nervously. "I just don't...want to lose you - that. A friendship, I mean."

Frieda stared at her for a moment, then took another gulp of champagne and turned back to the table.

Penny frowned and leaned forward slightly. "That was sort of your cue to say "I consider you a friend, too, Penny! Thanks for believing in me. This is going to be a bold new step for me." Something like that."

Frieda still would not look up from the table. "Thank for not doing accent. I feel your impression of me would have been so bad." She looked up to meet Penny's gaze for a moment, then looked down again. "But you are okay. You are a little bit of a...suck-up. You cover for rubbish brother and let him blame you too often. But...you are good doctor." There was a slight pause. "You forget this is not new step for me. I have been doctor before."

Penny tried to lower her face slightly to meet Frieda's gaze. It didn't work, and she realized she was looking a bit foolish. She raised her face back up and thought of reaching over to Frieda to lift her face back up. Probably a bad idea - she might have been quite tipsy, but she wasn't nearly drunk enough to risk that with Frieda. Hugging her was about as bold as she could get at the moment - _she _might consider Frieda a friend, but she still did not know exactly how close Frieda considered them.

However, something was bothering Frieda, and she wanted to find out what. She downed her glass quickly and steeled herself. "Is that what's bothering you? Did...did something happen when you were a doctor? Is that why you're nervous?"

Frieda's eyes snapped back up to meet Penny's. They flashed with anger. "I am _not _nervous. You want me to tell you another secret you can spread over AAU? Is that what this is?"

Penny's eyes widened. "No! I'm just...Frieda, I said I was so sorry about that. I know you told me in confidence...I just...I just wanted Malick to know how good you were..."

"Yes, it made day _much _easier. Thank you for that."

"I'm sorry...I just wanted to help you okay? I didn't want you to leave...like that."

Frieda stared at her for moment, downed her glass, and made to stand up. "Anyway. Is late, so I am going home. Thank you for champagne."

Penny reached out her hand and laid it across Frieda's. "Don't go...I'm sorry. Besides, it's still early and neither of us has to work tomorrow. Don't leave because you're mad at me."

Frieda stood up, pulling her hand from Penny. "I said I would go to bar, and buy everyone drink. We are at bar, everyone has had drink, so I am going. Nothing to do with you, Valentine."

Penny tried to stand up, and her head swam. Clearly, she was a little more drunk than she'd thought. "Frieda, wait..."

Frieda grabbed her jacket. "It has been long day, and I need to go home." She gestured at the almost empty champagne bottle. "Enjoy rest of champagne."

Penny grabbed her arm gently. "I didn't mean to offend you...look, tell me what I've..." She tailed off as she saw Frieda look down at her hand, then glare at her. The look in her eyes was clear - _let go of me. _Penny did so and Frieda walked off quickly without another word, stopping only to say a quick goodbye to some of the other staff members. Some of which, Penny noted with dismay, had clearly been listening to the end of the conversation.

She slumped back into her chair, her head swimming. Angry tears gathered and she blinked them away. Why was it she always messed up relationships? Frieda was one of the few people at the hospital she considered a friend, and definitely one of the people she did not want to lose. She'd thought their friendship was growing, and now she'd messed it up.

The worst part was, she didn't even know why. Something she'd said must have hurt Frieda. It was certainly hurting Penny enough, that was for certain.

Penny blinked and mentally scolded herself. Wow, that had been a pretty intense burst of self-pity. It was Frieda that was hurting here, not Penny. She needed to fix what she'd done, not sit and feel sorry for herself. Glancing over, she saw Malick, staring at her. When he caught her eye, he turned away and went back to his drink.

She poured out the rest of the champagne and downed it quickly. Then she stood up - a little more gingerly this time - and walked over to Malick. He didn't look up as she approached.

"Fight with the girlfriend?" he said.

"She's not my...never mind. Hey! Have you heard the good news?"

Malick turned to face her. "Emo Barbie applying to be a doctor. Yeah."

Penny smiled. "Exactly. Take it from me, she'll be great." She tried to accentuate the last part with a sweeping hand movement, but just succeeded in feeling slightly unbalanced. Perhaps that last drink had been a bit unwise.

"Yeah. Of course." The tone was most definitely not sincere.

Penny sat down opposite him - again, a little _too _hard - and winced. "Why don't you like her? She was a great nurse."

"Exactly - a nurse. If you want to be a nurse, be a nurse. Don't act like you're a doctor unless you'll willing to put in the work to get all the way. Otherwise, you're just a mouthy nurse who likes stirring."

"She's putting in the work. She'll be amazing."

"Maybe." He shrugged. "Either she'll put in the graft and make it, or she'll drop out, and I won't have to see her ever again. You know what I think it'll be, and it wouldn't bother me _one bit_ if I don't see Little Miss Gobby Slacker and her clown makeup ever again."

Penny leaned forward. "You're wrong," she said with a smile. "Just you wait and see." She then stood up - feeling more than a little unbalanced. "She's going to be one of the best doctors here."

"Couldn't be worse than your brother."

"Exactly!" Penny frowned. "No, wait...he's my brother...he's really quite...never mind. Time to go."

Malick sat back and looked at her. "Don't think that I'm suggesting that posh birds are lightweights or anything, but do you need help with a taxi or something? Cause the last time I saw someone wavering like that, the next thing I knew was that I had to try to put them back together after they fell on their backside on a busy street at three a.m."

"I'm fine," said Penny unsteadily. "Why does everyone think I'm a lightweight?"

Malick grinned annoyingly. "Can't imagine...maybe...cause you are?"

"Fine!" Penny waved her hand dismissively. "I'm going to go home now and you'll - you'll see." She looked over and saw Ollie walking over with that annoying look on his face. No doubt he was going to try and impress Malick with his exhaustive knowledge of hip-hop, gleaned from a 10-minute Google search. That was probably going to get ugly, so now was a good time to leave.

As she walked out of the bar, she quickly ordered a taxi and stood outside to wait for it. However, try as she might, she couldn't get the image of Frieda out of her head. She had seemed really upset, even more than she had been after her earlier confrontation. Penny was worried about her. She was also worried that she may have offended Frieda in some way, and that was not good. She'd worked enough on their friendship to see it harmed now.

In the back of her mind, she did wonder exactly why she was so concerned about losing Frieda. It wasn't like she'd never fallen out with classmates or colleagues before, after all, and it had never bothered her too much. But...Frieda was different. For some reason, every time Penny tried to work out why Frieda was so different, she found herself wanting to think about something else, and she didn't quite know why.

However, that was besides the point. Tonight, Frieda was upset, and Penny wanted to help her. As the taxi pulled up, she got in and cursed to herself. She should have chased after Frieda right away, instead of talking with Malick. Now Frieda was probably home and in bed, and Penny wasn't even 100% sure of when she would be seeing her again.

Penny sighed very deeply. Once again, she was proving that relationships were not something she excelled at.

* * *

2

* * *

This was either a brilliant idea, or the worst idea she'd ever had. And, Penny thought as she cleared the last few steps, she'd had some pretty awful ideas in her time. She had gone home, fully intending to deposit her tipsy self into bed and wake up the next morning with an appalling hangover. However, on arriving home, she'd sat down, unwisely cracked open a bottle of wine, and started thinking.

A few glasses later, she had become even more drunk, and could not stop thinking of Frieda. The thought of Frieda in her flat, all alone, upset and without anyone to talk to bothered Penny immensely. And so, emboldened by the unwise amounts of alcohol she consumed, Penny had set off to Frieda's apartment in another taxi, ready to be there for her.

After all, thought Penny, as she walked towards the door of Frieda's flat, Frieda was hardly the type to ask for help. She obviously wanted Penny to be there for her, she was just too reserved to ask. At least, that was how Penny saw it in her current state.

Luckily, they'd shared a taxi home on other nights at the bar, and she remembered how to get to her flat. She'd never been inside the flat though, and idly wondered if Frieda's taste in decor was as unique as her personal style.

As she moved to ring the doorbell, a thought suddenly occurred to her. What if Frieda wasn't alone? Penny still didn't know _that _much about her. What if she had a partner and was with them at the moment? Wouldn't this be awkward?

Penny shook her head. No, if Frieda had a partner, she would have surely said something to Penny. Besides, Penny was her friend - Frieda wouldn't need to go running off to someone else - Penny was right there.

Penny blinked. That had been strange. It had felt like a rush of...jealousy, of all things. That was weird. You shouldn't get that jealous over a friend, should you? She put the thought out of her mind and rang the doorbell. As she waited, one thought about their friendship did work its way back into her head.

As she was thinking, the door swung open, and revealed a surprised looking Frieda Petrenko. Her face was free of makeup, her long brown hair was loose and hung down her back, and she was clad simply in a white tank top and some black shorts. She looked quite different from her normal self.

She also looked quite annoyed once she saw who it was. Before she could say anything, Penny's thought verbalised itself.

"You never said that you considered me a friend too!" said Penny, a little more indignantly than planned.

Frieda's eyes widened. "Did you come to my flat at four o'clock in morning simply to say that? I have phone, Valentine, you could just call."

Penny suddenly felt incredibly silly. Of course she could have just called! Why hadn't that occurred to her? The drink, probably, she thought ruefully. Oh well, she had better make the best of the situation now. "I...I was worried about you. You seemed angry and hurt. I wanted to see if you were okay."

"I am angry now, certainly. I am woken up in middle of night by crazy doctor!"

Penny's face fell. "I'm...I'm sorry."

Frieda's expression softened. "Is okay." She paused. "Come in. Is cold out here."

"And tiring - you know that lift's broken, right? I had to use the stairs."

Frieda shrugged. "Landlord is in prison, I think. Entire maintenance schedule is sort of in air at moment. But...is cheap place to live, so I can't complain too much."

Penny smiled and followed Frieda inside. Her apartment was fairly austere - in the living room, the only items of furniture were a large sofa and several large bookshelves, containing a large number of fairly hefty books and a lot of CDs. A small TV stood in the corner, and the walls were bare. Penny was a little surprised - she had expected it to be a little more decorated. She glanced at some of the books, but none of the titles seemed be in English.

"I don't like clutter," said Frieda, noticing Penny looking around. "Is always hard to find things." She gestured at the couch. "Sit. I would offer you drink, but you seem to have had enough already."

"I'm not drunk," protested Penny unconvincingly. She pulled off her jacket, and sat on the sofa in a very unsteady way.

Frieda sat down next to her and looked at her with a quizzical expression. "So what are you doing here? You can't have come here just because you wanted me to call you friend. Although that does sound like something you would do..."

Penny looked at Frieda for a short while. "You know, you look so different without all the make-up, and without the hair all tied back...I don't think I've ever seen you like this..."

"So now it seems that you're here to critique my appearance? That is much better! Definitely worth getting up at four after only two hours sleep."

Penny shook her head. The room swam and she immediately resolved never to do that again. "No...I'm sorry for bothering you...but I was worried about you. You weren't yourself tonight...and I know it's been a weird day, but something seemed wrong. And I was hoping I hadn't said anything wrong, because I never...I don't want to hurt you, Frieda."

Frieda looked away from Penny, down at the floor. "You are silly sometimes, and annoying sometimes, and just...weird sometimes, but you would not hurt me on purpose...I do consider you a friend, Valentine. You did not do anything wrong."

"I did tell everyone about you...I feel so bad about that."

"It hurt at first, yes. And...still a little bit now, because you promised. But...I know why you did it. You did it for me. I am sorry that I snapped at you." Frieda sighed. "It is...maybe Malick was right about me."

"What? No! Frieda, you are not a slacker. You're one of the hardest working nurses we have - I...the department...we would be lost without you sometimes."

Frieda glanced at her briefly, then looked away again. "But...I do like acting as more than nurse...sometimes at catching doctors out. It is...enjoyable sometimes. He is right - if I want to be doctor, I should put work in and _be _doctor, not just...super-nurse."

Penny found herself grinning at Frieda's description.

"It is time that I stop...wasting potential," continued Frieda. "I am...what is that expression? Coasting."

"You weren't coasting, Frieda," said Penny softly. "I meant it - you're one of the best nurses I've ever seen." She paused, wondering how far she should pry. "Is that...is that the only reason you were upset - because you felt that's what you were doing?"

There was a long pause. Frieda kept staring at the floor. Finally, she spoke in a soft tone. "What if you are wrong, Valentine? What if I do not have a gift...if I cannot make it as doctor?"

Penny had never heard Frieda sound so unsure before. She was used to the take-charge, no-nonsense Frieda Petrenko, who knew her mind and didn't mind speaking it. It didn't suit her to be so self-doubting. Was this something to do with the reason she had quit being a doctor before? Based on Frieda's reaction the first time, Penny knew it would be a bad idea to ask about it again, but she had to do something.

Emboldened by the fairly large quantity of alcohol inside her, Penny reached and touched the side of Frieda's face, moving it to face her, and leaned in closer. "Listen to me," she said in a quiet, but firm voice. "I wasn't wrong. You have a gift, and you are going to be _so_ incredible as a doctor.

"After the Scott..thing...I didn't think I could handle this. I wanted to move away, quit being a doctor and forget the whole thing as a mistake. But I stuck at it...I got better...I did it. And you are so much stronger than I ever was. You are going to be great...better than me, even."

Frieda smile slightly. "Well, that part was obvious." The smile widened. "Thank you...you are good friend."

As Frieda was talking, Penny found herself unconsciously studying her face. She looked like a different person without the makeup and fringe brushed down. Her face was more open - her cheeks even had a slight rosiness to them. Her lips were a soft pink. Her eyes were less defined, the green softer with a slight smokiness to it. Her smile, a wider, more vulnerable smile than Penny had seen before, added to the effect.

She had always looked amazing, but now, Penny found herself staring at Frieda, seeing a new side to her. A side that she imagined Frieda was not comfortable showing to anyone. She became acutely aware that her hand was still resting on Frieda's cheek and, unable to help herself, Penny stroked her cheek slightly. The skin was as smooth as silk, as utterly perfect as the rest of Frieda. Her hand glided over it effortlessly, and she kept it there, not wanting to stop touching her.

Penny's mouth opened as if under its own accord. "Have I ever told you," she said, her voice feeling as if it was coming from a million miles away, "how beautiful you are? Because you are one of the most radiant people I've ever met."

Frieda's eyes darted to Penny's hand, still on her cheek, then back to Penny. Her expression was unreadable. "Penny..." she said softly. "I..."

Whatever she might have been going to say was lost as Penny leaned forward and pressed her lips to Frieda's. Her other hand came up to Frieda's other cheek and she pulled Frieda gently to her, drawing her into the kiss. Frieda's mouth opened, almost as if she was trying to speak, and Penny took advantage of that, slipping her tongue into Frieda's mouth, kissing her as passionately as she had ever kissed anyone.

After a few of the most pleasurable moments Penny had ever had, she drew back, Frieda's face still in her hands. She drew her hands away as she pulled back, her fingers savouring the feel of Frieda's skin. Penny exhaled heavily, feeling out of breath and light-headed. As she sat back, she saw Frieda's face, wearing an expression of utter shock, and for the first time since Penny had known her, completely speechless.

Penny's eyes widened as the impact of what she had just done raced through her. Her face flushed scarlet in shock and embarrassment. What had come over her? Frieda must hate her - she had offended her, spilled her secrets, forced her out of the bar by asking stupid questions, and now practically forcing herself on Frieda. She had ruined their friendship - Frieda was certainly shocked enough not to speak, probably figuring out how to handle this crazy woman in her flat.

The fact that none of this made much sense did not matter to Penny. In her drunk state, she was now convinced that their friendship was ruined, and it was all her fault. Tears sprang unbidden and flowed freely down her cheeks.

"I have to go!" she said, finally breaking the silence, choking out the words. She stood up - far too fast - and the combination of the alcohol and her mood caused the room to spin violently. She pitched forward, almost falling flat on her face. Frieda sprang to her feet and grabbed her, steadying her.

"No. Valentine, you are not going anywhere tonight." Frieda guided Penny back down on the sofa. "You are drunk, you are tired, you are emotional. It would not be safe for you to try to get home. You will stay."

"No..." Penny was feeling distinctly queasy now, and tears were still rolling down her face. "I have to go..."

"You _will _stay," said Frieda in a tone that would brook no resistance. She stood up and manoeuvred Penny into lying down. She then knelt down and unbuckled Penny's boots, pulling them off and lifting her legs up onto the couch. "Nice boots...I don't like the colour, but design is good."

"Frieda..." said Penny weakly. The whole day's events were now seriously taking their toll on her. She was exhausted.

Frieda stood up. "Do _not _move." She walked out of the room, and returned a few moments later with a blanket, which she lay over Penny. "Sleep, Valentine. Please. We will rest and talk in morning, okay?"

Penny nodded weakly. "Okay."

Frieda nodded and walked towards her bedroom. "And Valentine? Please do not think of leaving. I know where you live, remember?"

Her tone made Penny smile slightly. It sounded more like the Frieda she was used to. "I promise."

"Good." Frieda walked into her room, leaving Penny alone. That last exchange had brightened her up a little, but she was worried about what the morning might bring. She lay there, her eyes open, utterly exhausted, but unable to sleep, hoping that she hadn't ruined everything. She was still worried about what would happen to her and Frieda's relationship when she finally fell asleep, almost an hour later.

* * *

3

* * *

Penny awoke to the sound of running water, lurching upright on the sofa. Her head was pounding, and for a moment, she struggled to remember where she was. It wasn't her flat, that was for sure. She rubbed her head, trying to stop the pounding, and trying to place where she was.

Suddenly, she remembered - she was in Frieda's flat, and she had come here last night to find out what was wrong., and to try and help Frieda.

And then, for some reason, she had kissed her.

Penny sank forward, her head in her hands, as the memories came back. What had she been thinking? She glanced around, trying to look for any sign of Frieda, but didn't spot her. However, from the sound of the water, it sounded like she was in the shower. And, if she was anything like Penny, that meant Penny had quite a bit of time to figure out what to do.

The first option was to wait on the sofa for her to come out, and then they could talk about what happened in a mature and rational fashion. That would be the sensible thing to do.

The second option was to join her. Just walk into the bathroom, acting like nothing was out of the ordinary, and nonchalantly ask her if there was room for two in there.

Penny blinked. Where had that come from? She could explain away the kissing - barely - by saying she was drunk, but now she was considering taking a shower with Frieda? She shook her head, trying to get rid of that thought. Deep down, of course, she was realizing that maybe her feelings for Frieda ran a little deeper than she had thought, and that she should try to sort them out. However, her surface thoughts were trying as hard as possible to avoid thinking about that.

The third option was, of course, to make a run for it.

Penny looked at the door, then back to the bathroom. Frieda had said not to leave. However, Penny really needed to get herself together before she could face any sort of confrontation. At least, that was just her justification to herself - deep down she knew she was just being a coward.

Hating herself, she pulled her boots on quickly, grabbed her jacket and made for the door.

* * *

4

* * *

Penny finished running a towel through her hair, feeling a hundred times more refreshed after her shower. She pulled her dressing gown closed and walked into her kitchen to make some coffee. She had come straight home and jumped right into the shower, after taking one look in the mirror. She had looked a mess - hair mussed up, her face still tear-streaked and blotchy from the night before, her make-up running all over her face. No wonder the taxi driver had kept asking nervously if she was all right.

Now, she felt clean and refreshed, and probably looked a good deal more together. Her head still hurt like hell, though - both from her hangover and the guilt. As she pottered around the kitchen, getting the coffee ready, she couldn't help but wonder how Frieda must have reacted. She must have been furious. Penny's eyes filled with tears as she wondered how she was ever going to make it up to Frieda. She felt bad about running, but knew she just couldn't have faced Frieda this morning.

Penny sighed heavily. That was just the cowardice talking. She just didn't want to face up to reality - as usual. The second anything got difficult she just wanted to leave - just like the situation with Scott and leaving Holby. The fact was that she was starting to realize that her feelings for Frieda might be far deeper than she had previously wanted to admit.

Sitting down with a cup of strong black coffee, she grabbed her phone from the coffee table. Nothing from Frieda, but there was a text from Ollie.

WHERE DID YOU GO LAST NIGHT? YOU VANISHED.

Penny decided it might be better not to disclose exactly what had happened at this time. AM FINE, she texted, JUST HAD VERY LATE NIGHT. RESTING NOW. HOW IS WORK?

BAD. I THINK MALICK HATES ME EVEN MORE NOW, IF THAT'S HUMANLY POSSIBLE.

Penny couldn't help smiling a little. She'd known that pub conversation wouldn't go well. YOU'LL BE FINE. SEE YOU LATER. She set the phone back down and drank her coffee, hoping it would help her headache a little.

Suddenly, there was an almighty banging at the front door. She jumped, almost spilling coffee all over herself. Swearing, she set down the cup, wondering who the hell was banging at her door so loudly. There was another set of loud banging on the door, so she walked over to answer it, fully prepared to tell whoever it was to pack it in.

Penny swung the door open angrily. "Now, look here..." her anger and voice tailed off as she saw who it was.

Frieda Petrenko was standing on her doorstep, an expression of extreme irritation on her face.


	2. Chapter 2

5

* * *

"Frieda!" Penny gasped. "What...what are you doing here?"

Frieda was fully made up again, her hair pleated into two long pig-tails. She was wearing a long black coat over a deep purple sundress, plus a very angry expression. "I told you not to leave, Valentine. This will never work if you ignore everything I say."

"I'm sorry!" Penny frowned. "Wait, what will never work?"

Frieda ignored her and walked past her into the flat. "I mean, I've had pretty girls be gone before morning in past, but is still annoying."

Penny closed the door, wincing at her tone. "I'm sorry, Frieda. I just...I felt really embarrassed, and I couldn't face you...I was going to call you after I'd picked myself up a bit, I really was."

Frieda crossed her arms and glared at Penny. "I have saved you trouble. So, here I am. I said we would talk this morning, and talk we will. Although..." she glanced at her watch. "It is now one p.m., so is not morning."

"Yeah!" Penny smiled weakly, trying to lighten the mood. "Hey, it's early...I...I didn't realize you could be out in the daylight, or you'd..." She tailed off at Frieda's withering expression.

"Vampire jokes again? Hilarious. Would have been even more hilarious if you and I had not been working in daylight for over a month now. But, points for effort." Frieda paused, and took a deep breath. "However, we will still talk."

"Okay..." Penny gestured at the sofa. "Have a seat...I'll...get dressed, and then we can..."

"No."

Penny blinked in surprise. "What?"

"Not here," said Frieda firmly. "Too much chance of idiot brother showing up at bad time."

"Ollie has his own place..."

"He could still call round to interrupt us. We will go out." She paused. "What's that I hear you say? 'Let's go to lunch, Frieda! No, don't worry, my treat!' Thank you, Penny. I accept your generous offer."

Penny opened her mouth to complain, but then closed it again. She didn't really have a leg to stand on here. "Okay, I'll get dressed. Just...wait here. I'll be back in a second."

Frieda raised an eyebrow. "Maybe I should go with you...after all, I don't want you escaping out of window."

"Wait, you want to watch me get dressed?" In response to that, Frieda just gave a sly grin. Penny blushed furiously. "No...no...it's okay. I won't leave, I swear." Something else struck her. "Wait, interrupt us doing what?"

Frieda just kept grinning at her.

Penny sighed. "Fine...but no, you don't have to watch me dress."

"Pity." Frieda cocked her head to one side. "Hurry back, Valentine. I am hungry."

Trying hard to stop her furious blushing, Penny hurried to her bedroom to get dressed.

* * *

6

* * *

Some time later, Penny and Frieda were both sitting in a rather nice noodle place that Frieda had recommended. Despite her petite shape, Frieda appeared to be more than capable of putting food away at an incredible rate. Penny was a little scared to find out what this would cost her, although she didn't really mind all that much. Earlier that morning she had been scared that Frieda would never speak to her again, and now she was having lunch with the woman. So at least Frieda still wanted to talk to her - and appeared still willing to be friends.

Penny was just a little confused about what the exact nature of their relationship was - and what both of them wanted it to be. She hoped that Frieda would start talking soon - Penny really didn't think she had the courage to begin that conversation.

Frieda set down her chopsticks. "Amazing. Did I not tell you that this was incredible restaurant?"

Penny nodded. "Very nice."

Frieda cocked her head to one side and smirked. "It was very generous of you to buy me lunch, Valentine."

Penny lowered her head down. "It was...it was the least I could do to make up for yesterday and this morning. I'm really sorry. I know it was cowardly of me to leave, but I just...couldn't face you without more time."

"Was there something you were ashamed of...something that happened last night that you regret?" Frieda was trying to keep her tone light, but Penny could detect something harder underneath - this was an important question for Frieda.

"No...I...regret acting the way I did...waking you up, making you worry, running out on you...but," Penny looked up at Frieda, "I don't regret anything else I did." As she said it, she realized it was true. She didn't regret kissing Frieda. It had felt...right. Natural. The revelation threw her a bit, but it felt better to simply admit it to herself.

"You can say it," said Frieda quietly.

"Okay." Penny looked up and met her eyes. "I don't regret kissing you. If it damaged our friendship, or made things awkward, I would be sorry...but I don't regret it. It's...something I've wanted to do for a while now."

"Good."

"Good?" Penny frowned. "Is that all? A little reassurance would be nice! Something about our friendship not being damaged would be nice..."

"Our friendship is not damaged. It would take more than a kiss from a beautiful woman to drive me away."

"You..." Penny blinked. "You think I'm beautiful?"

Frieda nodded, a small smile on her face. She almost looked shy - a new look for her in Penny's eyes. "You told me how beautiful I was last night...I should return compliment. You could maybe do something with hair, but yes...you are very beautiful, Penny Valentine." She paused. "I just...want to make sure that kiss was not...spur of the moment thing. Not a drunken fumble that is regretted. I wanted to know if it was...genuine. Now I know it is."

Penny felt herself blushing again - Frieda seemed to provoke that response from her. "So...a woman kissing you isn't something out of the ordinary for you?"

Frieda grinned. " I have been with men, Valentine. I have also been with women. And you?"

"No...never." Penny paused. "I've been with...very few people in my life. All guys...and no-one since Scott. It's never been much of a priority with me. There was always work...always studying."

"You should live a little." Frieda sat back in her chair. "Okay...so elephant in room is dealt with. We have kissed. I am not upset about it. Friendship is not affected. So...what now?"

Penny laughed a little nervously. "You mean for...us?"

"I meant for rest of day...but yes...for 'us' too." Frieda thought for a moment. "You know what I think we should do?"

"What?"

"Go shopping."

Penny blinked in surprise. "What, now?"

"Yes. We go shopping...we talk about things. Why, do you have better things to do today?"

"There is nothing," Penny said with a smile, "that I would rather do than go shopping with you, Frieda Petrenko." She held out her hand and took Frieda's, and they both rose from the table. Penny thought of something. "Hey, I got lunch, but I don't feel bad enough to buy you stuff."

Frieda fixed her with a withering glance. "Relax, Valentine. Is just after Christmas. I have tokens." She smiled. "Let's go."

* * *

7

* * *

"What about this one?" Penny held out a silk scarf, brilliantly decorated with all the colours of the rainbow.

Frieda took a look at it. "It is very you. I am thinking of this one." She held out an incredibly long wool scarf, striped in black and white. "Not that it is very cold. The people here go crazy with even the slightest hint of snow. You do not know what cold is."

Penny grinned. "I can't argue with that." Looking at Frieda for a moment, her voice went softer. "This is really nice...you and I being out like this. The hospital is all I've really known for so long...I haven't been doing anything else for ages."

Frieda nodded. "I know feeling."

"Are you feeling better? I'm sorry...I was being so self-obsessed earlier...I went over to your place last night to see how you were doing, not to bother you with more problems."

"I am feeling better," said Frieda. "Sometimes...when things happen, I lose confidence. I start to doubt myself. I just need to be reminded of...myself, if that makes sense." She looked at Penny awkwardly. "I think...that you know what I talk about. That you do it too."

Penny nodded. "Sometimes I just want to pack it all in - finally admit that I don't have what it takes and that everyone was right about me. But then...then I save someone, or notice something that no-one else did, and someone gets to live because of it...and then I wouldn't give this up for the world."

"Everyone...you mean family? Friends?"

Penny nodded. "Oliver was always the Golden Boy. I was sort of...the forgotten one. Ollie never really made me feel like that...although..." She shook her head. "Never mind. I've lost touch with most of my friends. The job takes up most of my time. You?"

"I have no family here. Still some friends, but...as you say, it is hard to keep in touch. Plus, with most people I know being back in Ukraine...sometimes I am lonely. I try to be independent, but...as you see, sometimes I need support."

"We all do." Penny wondered about Frieda. She still knew so little about her. Why she had come to the UK, why she had stopped being a doctor - all important questions. Somehow, though, she knew that she couldn't ask about those things. Frieda would tell her in time, when she was ready.

Frieda looked Penny in the eyes. "Valentine...I do appreciate you coming after me last night. It is not...easy for me to ask for help. Sometimes I push people away because I am...shy is wrong word...but you know what I mean. It is awkward for me to act...weak in public, so many people think I am heartless. I am not...just...I prefer to do that in private."

"I understand." Penny smiled warmly. "I'm the opposite...I wish I could be a bit more reserved in public sometimes, but I guess we all do things differently." She thought about something. "Is that why you wear the make-up? To...mask yourself?"

"Oh no." Frieda smiled. "This is because I look awesome in it."

"You look awesome all the time, no matter what."

"Thank you. But..." Frieda looked down, her voice uncertain. "When I am with you...I do not mind being weak. I feel I can be...open with you. And that is not something I can say about many people."

Penny reached over and took her hand, squeezing it gently. "You can always be open with me, Frieda. And I don't think you could ever be weak. You're one of the strongest people I know."

Frieda looked over at her. "There have been times...when I do not feel strong. But, thank you."

They looked at each for a few moments, simply looking into each other's eyes. Finally, Frieda looked around self- consciously, looking a little embarrassed.

Penny guessed she must be feeling awkward about discussing this in a public place and coughed slightly, pulling her hand away gently. "So," she said a little uncertainly. "I guess we should probably go and pay for this stuff."

Frieda nodded, and they both set off for the tills.

* * *

8

* * *

Penny opened the door to her flat and walked in, dumping her shopping bags on the floor. Frieda followed and did the same. "My feet hurt," moaned Penny.

"Has anyone ever told you that you complain too much, Valentine? Oh, that is right - me."

Penny made a face at Frieda and pulled off her coat and boots. "Hey...have a seat," she said, indicating the sofa. "Do you...want a drink or anything?"

Frieda raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure drink is good idea, considering last night?"

"One glass of wine is not going to hurt...I promise there won't be a repeat of last night."

"Pity...certain bits I would like to repeat."

Penny blushed again. "Okay...I'm...going to get two glasses of wine," she stammered. "Just make yourself comfy." She walked into her kitchen, pulled out two glasses and a bottle of wine, and took a deep breath. This had certainly been an interesting day. She wasn't exactly sure where it was heading, but she certainly hadn't imagined anything like this would have happened when she went to work the day before.

She came back into the living room to find Frieda on the sofa, having discarded her boots and jacket also. She sat down on the other end of the sofa, unsure of exactly how close to sit to Frieda, and deciding to err on the side of caution, then poured the drinks. She handed one to Frieda, and raised her glass. "Cheers."

Frieda raised her own. "Budmo!"

"What?"

Frieda smiled. "No, you say 'Hey!'."

"Hey!"

"Now we can drink." Frieda took a sip. "It means 'Shall we live forever?', roughly."

"Wow...an educational day, too." Penny glanced over at her bags ruefully. "As well as an expensive one. I think I've blown my budget for the rest of the month." She smiled. "It was worth it."

"See...you should live a little. Life is not all work."

"I know." Penny sighed. "I just...I guess, got into a routine where every night I would just study and do nothing else. I had, just to keep up."

"And that is good...hard work is admirable. But without rest, or fun, soon you will lose desire to work, and that would be loss of great doctor."

"I'm so glad you're going to apply for the F1 job. You'll be awesome."

Frieda nodded. "Of course. Minor attack of nerves - is nothing. I am confident." She smiled at Penny. "Thanks to you, of course. Thank you for believing in me."

"Always."

"Now, of course - you need to maybe believe in yourself a bit better, no? You are great doctor, Valentine. I know that when we met, I did not think so. I felt that you leant on brother, but now...now he leans on you. You work hard, and you learn. You need to give yourself little bit of credit sometimes."

"I know." Penny sighed. "I just...used to feel so...inadequate. It's gotten better lately." She smiled at Frieda. "It helps having a friendly face...well, friendly-ish face on the wards."

"That is as friendly as I get in public," said Frieda with a smirk. "You should know that by now."

"I know," said Penny with a grin. She glanced over at their shopping bags. "You're right. A little fun is a good thing. Mind you...have you ever thought about buying anything in a bright primary colour?"

"Ha. I wear things that look good on me. Sometimes, trying to look different ends up badly. Do not ever ask about my pink period - was bad for everyone."

Penny tried to imagine a pink-clad Frieda and failed miserably. "Now that would be a sight to see."

"All photo evidence was destroyed, and the involved people threatened." Frieda fixed Penny with a mock-threatening glare. "Leave it, Valentine, or you will regret it."

Penny grinned. "It would be worth the risk." A memory came into her head, and she grimaced. "Oh God, talking about this just reminded me of my ill-fated Goth period."

Frieda's eyes went wide. "Goth Penny Valentine? Not something I can imagine easily..."

"It was about eight or nine years ago...one summer I decided to rebel, and I cut all my hair off, so it was all short and spiky." Penny winced at the memory. "Then I dyed it pink and black - in this weird two-tone hairstyle. I had a bunch of earrings and a nose stud, and I used to wear an insane amount of eyeliner. I looked utterly ridiculous."

Frieda nodded. "I agree. No offence, Valentine, but some can pull off this look - others cannot."

"None taken. Oh yeah - and I used to insist people called me by my full name - Persephone, instead of Penny. You know, cause she was 'Queen of the Underworld', and all that." Frieda giggled at that, and Penny playfully batted her with a pillow. "Shut up! I know, I know. I stopped after a few weeks, cause I realized how utterly stupid I looked." Penny shook her head. "Not one of my favourite times."

"I want to see picture."

"Not a hope in hell, Petrenko." Penny gave her own mock glare. "Drop it."

"I will see it eventually." Frieda cocked her head to the side. "I am persuasive, and you are pushover."

"We'll see."

"One thing I have wondered," said Frieda thoughtfully, "is why 'Persephone'. I know is not common name here."

Penny shrugged. "I don't know. I asked my parents about it once - I think they just liked it, cause it sounded pretty. I looked it up, and I didn't really like it...I mean, queen of the underworld? I suppose you could also look at the spring thing, but that not much better. So does that mean I can only blossom for half the year, then shrink away?" She sighed. "Got me teased in school too. That's why I switched to Penny...except for the Goth summer, anyway."

"I think is pretty name. Sorry about teasing in school - I got called 'Pencil' in school." At Penny's quizzical look, Frieda added: "Was because I was so thin in school. I was very skinny teen. But anyway...'Persephone'. Is nice name."

"It sounds nice when _you _say it." Penny took a sip of her wine. "So where did Frieda come from?"

Frieda looked away for a moment. "Was...my mother's name," she said softly.

"That's the first time I've heard you mention your family," said Penny quietly, leaning forward slightly. "What..."

"Is long story," said Frieda, not meeting her gaze. "Perhaps another time."

Penny nodded. "Of course." No point rushing this - they had plenty of time, after all.

Frieda looked back up to meet Penny's gaze. "So, Valentine," she said, with a small twinkle in her eyes. "I think we have talked around subject long enough." She set down her glass. "Perhaps is time we clarify a few things?"

"What things are those?" asked Penny, a little nervously.

"Where we go from here." Frieda paused for a moment. "You told me earlier that kissing me was something you had wanted to do for long time."

Penny glanced down nervously. "Yes...I didn't want to admit it, even to myself...relationships have never really worked out for me, and ever since Scott...I wasn't really keen to get involved with anyone again for a long time." She looked up to meet Frieda's eyes. "And because you were a woman...it was kind of scary. But yeah...I like you, Frieda. I mean, I really like you - and I think I only realized last night exactly how much."

Now it was Frieda's turn to look nervous. She fiddled with a pigtail awkwardly. "I...I feel same way about you. I know that when we met, we did not get on. But since then, we became friends...and then my feelings kept growing. But I did not say anything because I thought you did not feel same way, so I was quiet...As I said, it is difficult for me to be open, and with relationships it is even harder." She gave a small, almost-shy grin. "I am glad that you do."

"Why did you look so stunned when I kissed you?"

"I had convinced myself you did not feel same way, and was not expecting you to discover you did, nor that you would kiss me." Frieda shrugged a little. "It takes lot to shock me, Valentine. Congratulations."

Penny smiled nervously back. "So...I like you, and you like me...what happens now?"

Frieda's expression went more serious for a moment. "Before anything else happens...I want to ask one thing."

"Go ahead."

"Relationships are...big deal for me," said Frieda softly. "I do not allow myself to feel that deeply very often. It takes a lot for me to let someone in all the way, and...and I think I could with you. I know you have not been with woman before. I have. So, I have to ask...this is not experiment for you, is it?"

Penny blinked in surprise. "What?"

"Experiment for you...to see what is like, then decide you like men after all. Because if it is, I need to stop this now before it gets more serious." Frieda looked down. "I am sorry. But I need to know."

Penny reached over and took Frieda's hands in hers. "Frieda, I promise that it isn't an experiment. I know I haven't been with a woman before, but...this is real. I really like you, and I promise I wouldn't dump you like that."

Frieda looked up into her eyes and smiled. "Thank you. I am sorry...it is not that I don't trust you, but..."

"Ssshhh." Penny squeezed Frieda's hands gently. "It's okay...I know this is a big deal for you...it is for me, too."

The two women looked into each other's eyes for a few moments, until Penny broke the silence. "So...um...what now?"

Frieda let go of her hand, and shifted closer to her on the sofa. She put her hand up and stroked Penny's cheek softly. "If any of this too much for you," she said softly, "just tell me and I'll stop."

Penny nodded, her stomach doing cartwheels in nervousness and anticipation.

Frieda began to stroke her face gently, caressing it, and running her fingers through Penny's hair. She leaned in, and kissed Penny's neck gently. She followed it up with a series of gentle kisses, moving gradually up Penny's neck, until she was kissing her cheek. Her fingers softly stroked the back of Penny's head as she lightly nibbled the base of Penny's ear, causing Penny to moan softly.

Penny was overcome as Frieda worked her magic. All she could do was make indistinct sounds of happiness, and wrap her arms around Frieda, pulling her closer.

Frieda began to softly kiss Penny's cheeks, kissing all around her mouth, and the underside of her chin. She brought her hands around to cup Penny's face in her hands and press her forehead to Penny's. "You are so beautiful," she said in a low, sultry tone. "I've wanted...for so long..." then finished her thought by kissing Penny on the lips lightly. A succession of quick kisses followed, each one driving Penny mad, until Frieda finally kissed her deeply.

Penny moved her hands up to Frieda's head, pulling Frieda to her, and opening her mouth in invitation, which Frieda gladly took. Now that Penny was sober, she could enjoy it a lot more than the previous kiss. Frieda's lips were soft and warm and her taste was intoxicating. Their bodies fit together like two halves of a whole.

After a few minutes of one of the most pleasurable experiences Penny had ever experienced, their mouths separated. Heads still in each other's hands, they pressed their foreheads together, and both took a deep breath.

"Wow," said Penny. "Just...wow." She moved back slightly, staring Frieda in the eyes. "You're amazing, you know that?"

"I know," said Frieda with a smirk. "You are not so bad yourself."

"I just need...to catch my breath." Penny grinned. "Okay, breath caught." She pressed her lips to Frieda's again, to which Frieda eagerly reciprocated, lightly pushing Penny down onto the sofa.

They lay there for a long time, moving from passionate kissing to simply laying in each other's arms. Penny lay back, wrapping her arms around Frieda, who was snuggled on top of her, head on Penny's shoulders. "I have to admit," said Penny, with a smile, "that I never thought this would happen when I went to work yesterday."

"I hoped that it might one day." Frieda kissed Penny's neck softly. "But I had become afraid that it never would."

Penny moved to face Frieda, kissing her on the nose lightly. "Frieda...it's been rough at the hospital at times...the stress, my own problems...it's been hell at times. But," she paused, her voice wavering slightly, "I wouldn't change one bit...because then I wouldn't have met you."

"I know," whispered Frieda, kissing her again, then resting her head on Penny's chest. The two women just lay there for what seemed far too short a time for Penny, simply holding each other and listening to each other's breathing.

Finally, Frieda lifted her head slightly, and then placed it back onto Penny's chest. "It is late," she said regretfully. "You have work in morning..."

"I know, I know," said Penny sadly. "I do need to get to bed."

"I should go..."

"Or..." Penny swallowed nervously. "You...you could stay?"

"Mmmmm." Frieda kissed Penny lightly. "I would love to...and is so tempting. But..." She sighed softly. "I think is better if we take this slowly. I think is better not to rush things."

"You're right." Penny rubbed her forehead, then slowly manoeuvred Frieda and herself back up into a sitting position. "I'm still kind of nervous about...you know..."

"I know." Frieda stroked her face. "But do not worry...when we first make love, Penny Valentine, we will take our time...and will be experience you will never forget."

"I bet." Penny grinned. "I can't wait."

"One question," said Frieda with a smirk on her face, "that I've always wondered..."

"Oh?"

"With your name...how often did boys ask you out by saying 'Be My Valentine'?"

Penny groaned. "Oh God...you would not believe how often. And the worst part was, they would all think they were being equally original! Got a bit annoying, I can tell you."

"Well..." Frieda paused. "I know that you have heard this before, but believe me - it has never been this sincere. Be my Valentine?"

Penny kissed her. "I am yours."

"And I am yours." They held each other tightly for a moment, then Frieda stood up, and grabbed her jacket, with some evident regret.

Penny stood up also. "So...will I see you tomorrow, after work?"

"Count on it." Frieda walked over to the door, followed by Penny. Before she left, Frieda turned back round to Penny. "Penny..." Her voice was soft. "Thank you. For persuading me to apply for doctor position...for coming after me...for everything."

Penny smiled. "You're welcome. See you tomorrow."

Frieda smiled back and left. After the door had closed, Penny walked over to the sofa again and flopped down into it, a huge smile on her face - the biggest she had worn since she started at the hospital. Maybe her life was finally going to be sorting itself out.

There was just the small question of how certain other family members were going to react to this...

* * *

9

* * *

The next evening, Penny and Frieda walked out of the cinema into the cold winter evening. Penny wrapped her scarf around herself tighter, and was pleasantly surprised when Frieda leaned into her. She reached down and gingerly took Frieda's hand, wondering if Frieda would be comfortable with the public display.

To her delight, Frieda wrapped her hand around Penny's enthusiastically, and they set off down the street, hand in hand.

Frieda had picked her up after work, and they had decided to get some dinner and a film. Work had been alright, although now AAU was decidedly understaffed - it was bad enough losing any nurse, but the loss of a nurse of Frieda's calibre was even worse.

Of course, Malick had not wanted to admit that, and had even mentioned to Penny how much easier he felt it was without Frieda there, despite all evidence to the contrary. Penny had tried to stand up for her, but he did not want to listen.

She had struggled throughout the day with whether she should mention her new relationship to Ollie, but had decided against it. For one thing, Ollie had been right - Malick did appear to hate him even more now, and the pressure was causing him to screw up even more than usual. She didn't think he'd want to hear about her major, life-changing news after such a terrible day.

Plus, she wanted to clear it with Frieda first. She knew how private the Ukrainian was, and didn't want to offend her and scupper this relationship before it even started.

Frieda turned to her. "Did you like film?"

"It was..." Penny frowned. "Yes, I think. I'm not really sure...I didn't understand most of it, really. I couldn't figure out what was real and what wasn't."

"I loved it." Frieda smiled. "My sort of film."

"Beautiful women, misery, violence and blood?" Penny grinned. "Yeah, sounds like your sort of thing. And," she raised an eyebrow, "was taking me to see a movie with girl on girl scenes supposed to be a hint of anything?"

"Complete coincidence." Frieda turned back to the street. "Besides," she said, in a mock-arch tone, "was definitely better than stupid film about news readers you wanted to see."

"Well..." Penny's voice went low and sultry. "You know, when I suggested seeing a film, I was sort of expecting us to ignore the film, and concentrate on ourselves...you know, snuggling in the back row...kissing in the dark..."

"Oh, Valentine." Frieda waggled a finger at her. "When I go to see film, I concentrate on film, not anything else. Is why I only see things with artistic merit."

Penny cocked her head. "Really? Like Twilight?"

Frieda gave her a quick glance, and Penny swore she could almost see a slight blush. "I...I only watch that for ironic reasons."

"Of course..." Penny squeezed Frieda's hand softly. "This has been really nice, Frieda." She paused for a moment. "There is...there is one thing..."

"Oh, hello!"

Surprised by the familiar voice, Penny looked up to see Sacha Levy standing in front of them, holding a shoe box under his arm. "Hello, Mr Levy."

Sacha waved his hand. "It's okay, we're not in the hospital, call me Sacha."

"What's with shoe box?" asked Frieda with a frown.

Sacha held it up. "Shoes!" His face fell slightly. "They were a gift, but...they ended up being somewhat unwanted, so I'm taking them back to exchange them for...I don't know, some shirts or something."

"Oh, I'm sorry," said Penny sadly. "I always hate it when a gift ends up being unwanted. It gets really awkward, and..." She tailed off as Frieda gave her a glance.

"It is okay," said Frieda with a smirk. "You could do with more shirts...maybe something little more muted this time?"

"Ah," said Sacha with an exaggerated sigh. "I can always count on you to be charmingly blunt."

"Is what makes me so loveable."

"Yeah..." Then the grin returned to Sacha's face. "So anyway, what are you girls doing out tonight?"

Penny exchanged a quick glance with Frieda, who gave a curt nod to her. She took a deep breath. "Um. We're on...a date."

"Oh?" Sacha leaned forward slightly. "A double date, eh? Who are the two lucky guys?"

"No." Frieda's voice was amused. She lifted her arm up to show their entwined hands. "We are on date with each other."

Sacha blinked in surprise. "Wow...that was...when did that start?"

Penny blushed slightly. "Very recently. We haven't really...told anyone yet."

"Now, don't worry...if you haven't told a lot of people yet, they won't hear it from me - I'll let you do it in your own time." Sacha grinned. "But that's great! How's it going?"

Penny and Frieda glanced at each other. Penny smiled. "Pretty well, so far."

Frieda shrugged. "Is okay." She gave Penny a surreptitious wink.

"Anyway." Sacha clasped his hands together. "I won't keep you. Enjoy the rest of your date, and I will see you later! And hey!" He pointed at them both. "I'll just say, I was always rooting for you two crazy kids to get together." He gave a final grin, and set off.

Penny smiled and shook her head as the two women started walking again.

"Idiot," said Frieda softly, but with a great deal of affection.

"I hope everyone takes the news that well," said Penny nervously.

Frieda glanced over at her. "Are you nervous? About how people will react?"

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about." Penny took a deep breath. "I think I should tell Oliver. I know what Mr Levy said, but you know how the hospital rumour mill goes. I want him to find out from me, not anyone else."

Frieda nodded, and glanced away.

Penny reached over and gently stroked Frieda's face, turning it towards her. "But I want you to know...I am nervous about what people will say - I've always been too sensitive for my own good - but I want people to know about us. I want people to know I've got this amazing woman for my girlfriend. I don't want you to think I'm ashamed of this, or you."

Frieda leaned over and kissed her lightly. "I know. And you are right - you should tell brother. Is better he finds out right away." She raised an eyebrow. "So you consider me girlfriend, then?"

Penny blinked. She'd used the word without thinking, but on reflection: "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

"So do I." They kissed again, longer and deeper this time. Finally, they parted. "Come on," said Frieda. "I will walk you home." And with that, they made off for Penny's flat.

* * *

10

* * *

The next day, Penny found herself in a Starbucks, sitting opposite her brother. She had decided that, no matter what type of day he had faced, he needed to know sooner, rather than later. So, she'd cornered him and invited him out for coffee after work. He'd been a bit resistant, due to having another terrible day, but she'd impressed upon him that this was very important.

So here they were. Penny sucked at her strawberry-and-cream frappucino, while Oliver stared into his coffee dejectedly.

"It's like Malick's singled me out, or something," moaned Oliver. "I mean, most of those mistakes were ones anyone could have made! It's not like I'm purposely screwing up to annoy him - although I think he thinks that's the case."

"Ollie..."

"Okay, okay." Oliver sighed deeply. "So I brushed him off the first time that I met him - but that was by accident! Most people wouldn't hold a grudge about that, would they?"

"Ollie!" Penny held up her hands. "I'm sorry that you had a terrible day, I am, but I do really need to talk to you."

"So you said." Oliver picked up his coffee. "Sorry, Pen. I note that Mr. Spence still seems to think you're great, even though your date went badly..."

"That wasn't a date!" Penny put her head in her hands. "Look, Ollie - I have something to say, and I want you to hear it from me, rather than from the hospital rumour mill." She looked up at Oliver and took a deep breath. "Now, promise me you won't freak out or anything..."

Oliver took a sip of his coffee and frowned. "Sounds serious."

"I'm in...a relationship."

"Oh? That doesn't sound so serious..." His eyes widened. "Oh God, it's not with another patient, is it?"

"Oliver!" Penny glared at him. "What do you think I am? God, no! I'd never do that again."

"I'm sorry!" Oliver smiled awkwardly. "Okay, so who is it? Why is it such a big deal?"

"It's..." Penny fiddled with her hands, and took a nervous sip. "Well, you know Frieda?"

Oliver looked confused. "Of course I know Frieda! Oh, did she set you up with one of her Gothy friends? I never thought that was your type..."

Penny steeled herself. "No, it _is _Frieda."

"What?" Oliver looked lost. "What do you mean?"

"I mean..." Penny paused. "I mean that Frieda and I are in a relationship. A romantic one," she added, to avoid any further confusion.

Oliver's eyes went wide. "You're joking."

Penny gave a nervous smile. "I'm afraid not. It only started a few days ago, but yes, we're together."

Oliver went slack-jawed. He gawped at Penny for a few moments, trying to form a sentence. Finally, all he could say was: "I thought she liked me?"

Penny glowered at him. "That's all you can think of to say, Ollie? That your feelings are hurt because someone decided I was the more attractive Valentine for once?"

"No, no..." Oliver rubbed his head. "Sorry...I just was not expecting you to say that. So...you're dating women now?"

"Yeah." Penny shrugged. "It just sort of happened."

"But you and Frieda used to hate each other."

"I know...but then we got friendly, and it just...grew from there. It was after I was in the bar the other night. I went back to her place, we got talking, and a lot of things got clearer, and now we're a couple." Penny decided it was best not to go into the exact specifics of those evenings. "I was falling for her for a long time, but I wouldn't let myself realize it."

"Wow..." Oliver looked around for a moment. "I didn't...realize you liked girls as well as boys."

"Maybe," Penny sighed. "Maybe I would have realized that a bit earlier if I hadn't spent the best part of a decade avoiding relationships to concentrate on medicine. I mean, apart from Scott, I can't remember the last real relationship I had...must have been ages ago." She paused. "Besides, I don't even know if it's all girls, or just her...all I know is, I really like her, and we're a couple. And I wanted you to know before you heard any rumours."

Oliver gave that annoying grin. "Well, I've already heard rumours."

Penny blinked. "Already? It's only been two days..."

"No, from before then. Apparently you two have been having an affair for quite a few weeks now."

"What?" Penny couldn't believe this. "People have already been spreading rumours about us? But we weren't even a couple then..."

"I suppose it's just the way you two act around each other. Gets people thinking...anyway, I always thought they were nonsense, but obviously there was something to the rumours after all."

Penny kicked him on the shin. "Stop giving that smug look - I hate that!" She sighed. "Oh well, at least it won't be a surprise to anyone."

"Except people who don't listen to gossip all the time."

"True."

There was a brief silence. Oliver frowned for a moment. "Have you told Mum and Dad yet?"

"Ah." Penny looked down. "No, and I'm not planning to any time soon, either. They can wait until the next time I see them."

"But we don't see them that often."

"Exactly." Penny sighed. "That's something I really have to work up to." She fixed Oliver with a glare. "So don't tell them unless I do first, okay?"

Oliver held his hands up. "Okay! I won't say a word." He paused. "Seriously, though - are you sure this is what you want? I mean, you've made some weird decisions in the past, and I don't want you jumping into something without thinking it through first."

Penny frowned. "Ollie, I'm not a child, okay? I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions in life. This isn't something I'm rushing into."

"Because the last relationship you were in didn't end well, and you might just be jumping at the first person who shows you..."

Penny held up a hand. "Okay, I have to stop you there. I know you're my brother, and it's in your nature to lecture me, but it isn't like that - I made the first move, not Frieda, and this isn't any sort of reaction to the Scott thing, okay? That was ages ago - I've moved on!"

Oliver blinked. "You made the first move? Wow...I...was not expecting that." He frowned. "Then...is this some sort of...experiment? I mean, I know that sometimes..."

"Oliver!" Penny made an indistinct grunt of exasperation. "No, this is _not _an experiment, or a reaction to past relationships, or anything like that. This is just me in a relationship with someone I really like, and who likes me back, and I just need you to stop trying to harangue me and say you support me!"

"Okay..."

Penny sighed and rubbed her forehead. "I'm sorry, Ollie - I didn't mean to snap at you. I was just really nervous about this, and kind of stressed about your reaction. I was just sort of hoping you'd be a little more supportive."

"It's okay." Oliver sat back in his chair. "I'm just...I'm your brother, and I do sort of feel I have to look out for you." At Penny's withering glance, he quickly added: "Although I know you don't really need me to anymore." He paused for a second. "I do support you. This is a little bit of a shock for me, I admit, but you are my sister and I support you fully."

Penny smiled. "I appreciate that."

"It's still a little bit weird." Oliver cocked his head slightly. "Not really what I was expecting when you asked me to have coffee with you tonight."

"It wasn't what I was expecting either when I first met her." Penny smiled. "But I'm glad it happened." She glanced at her watch, and got to her feet. "Anyway, I have to go - I promised I'd meet Frieda over at her place."

"So what is her place like? Lots of skulls and vials of blood all over the place?"

Penny shot him a glance. "I only saw the living room, and it was more like...bookshelves and IKEA furniture."

Oliver grinned. "Well, that's a letdown." His face fell. "I suppose I'll see you tomorrow, then - another chance for Malick to get the boot in."

Penny squeezed his shoulder supportively. "It'll be fine - just show him what you can do, and I'm sure you'll be okay."

"Maybe..." He sighed. "Pen - listen - I'm sorry about how I reacted earlier. It's just..."

"It's fine." Penny smiled at him. "Now I know I have your support, it's okay. It was just a shock, I know. Anyway, see you tomorrow?"

Oliver gave a slightly forced smile. "Of course. See you then."

Penny gave a final smile, and walked off, happy at getting over that particular hurdle. She didn't notice Oliver look after her, an unreadable expression on his face.


	3. Chapter 3

11

* * *

Penny finished her climb up the stairs towards Frieda's flat, and smiled at the prospect of seeing the Ukrainian again. Knowing that Oliver was mostly okay about this did make her feel better - although if he wasn't, it wouldn't have made a bit of difference - she would still be with Frieda.

She smiled as that thought went through her head. Clearly her feelings for Frieda went rather deep if she was willing to pick her over her brother's approval. Still, it _was_ easier if he was okay with it - they were still siblings, as annoying as he could be sometimes - and they did have to work together. She idly wondered what the rest of her work colleagues would think about it. Malick would no doubt make some tasteless cracks about it the first time he found out about it, but she doubted he'd bring up her personal life after that - it didn't seem like his style.

Michael would probably be okay with it too. Although, if Frieda and Oliver's cracks about him asking her out for a date were true, he'd probably be upset that she was off the market. Of course, Penny thought, they clearly were _not _true - that definitely had _not _been a date.

Her parent's reaction was something she was not looking forward to. They might talk about being loving, progressive people, but she had a idea that they may react a little bit differently if it was their own daughter they had to accept. She didn't really care, though - it wasn't like she could be any more of a disappointment to them.

Penny reached the door, and rang the doorbell eagerly. After talking to Oliver, she'd returned home to freshen up, touch up her make-up and change clothes. She'd picked something nice and low-cut, and felt she looked pretty damn good. Certainly irresistible.

Frieda answered the door with a smile on her face. In contrast to Penny, she was dressed down by her standards, clad in a simple black t-shirt and jeans. Her long hair was loose behind her, and she wore minimal make-up. She still looked incredible, though.

"Come in," she said warmly, after kissing Penny lightly on the lips.

Penny walked in. "I feel a bit...overdressed," she said sheepishly.

"Nonsense. You look wonderful."

"Thank you," said Penny with a slight blush. She sat down, and Frieda did the same, sinking into her arms, wrapping her own arms around Penny's neck, and kissing her deeply. They embraced for a few minutes before pulling apart. "Mmmmm." Penny licked her lips, savouring Frieda's taste. "That's a heck of a welcome, there."

"I missed you." Frieda's face grew serious. "So...did you talk to Oliver? What did he say?"

Penny smiled. "He's fine - a little shocked, but yeah, he's supportive."

"Good...it probably would have pained you if I had killed him."

"Oh, I wouldn't have wanted you to do that. I mean, we're short enough in AAU as it is." Penny kissed the tip of Frieda's nose. "So, do you always threaten to get violent to impress your girlfriends?"

"I have reputation to live up to, Valentine. I mean, if people see me as...big softy, they will be disappointed." Frieda grinned, then her grin dropped and she looked Penny in the eye. "I must be serious for moment."

"What?" Penny got a little worried. "Is something wrong?"

"No..." Frieda stroked Penny's face. "You know I do not choose my partners lightly, and I know you do not either. But when I have, and when I have opened up to someone - I will do anything for them, to protect them. What I am saying, is...I am here for you, Penny. In...any way you need me."

"I know," said Penny softly. "And I'm here for you too."

Frieda nodded. "You have been there for me for long time, even if you do not realize it." She brushed a stray hair behind Penny's ear. "Even when you acted like I annoyed you, you still made sure people did not unjustly blame me, or yell at me. You still tried to get me to be doctor." She kissed Penny's forehead lightly. "Is when I began to fall for you."

"That long ago?" Penny blinked. "Wow...I was trying to think earlier about when I started...having feelings for you. It was probably about the same time, even though I didn't let myself realize it."

"And we still teased each other for all that time too." Frieda giggled. "Two people who like each other keep annoying each other on purpose. Is very...High School, as the American would say."

"Yeah. Well, I'm just glad we finally realized it."

"So am I." Another lingering kiss followed, then the two women pulled away.

"Anyway..." Penny stroked Frieda's hair. "Any preferences for what you want to do tonight?"

Frieda's voice went to a sultry whisper. "I have a couple of things I would like to do, yes. However, I need to know if you are ready."

Penny's eyes went wide. "Frieda, are you talking about what I think you're talking about?"

In response, Frieda leaned over and began kissing up Penny's neck, softly nibbling on her earlobe, before breathing into her ear gently, causing Penny to softly moan in pleasure. "I want you, Valentine," she breathed into Penny's ear. "If you are ready... "

Penny reached over and drew Frieda's lips to hers, blessing them with a series of quick, soft kisses. "I'm ready," she murmured between kisses. "I've been thinking about this all day...and I want you...oh, God, I want you too."

"Good." Frieda drew back, and stood up, pulling Penny up lightly by the arms as she did so. "The bedroom is over there...give me five minutes, and then join me." She looked Penny deep in the eyes. "Are you sure, Penny? If you are not, we can wait..."

Penny pressed her forehead to Frieda's lightly. "I'm ready...I want this just as much as you."

Frieda smiled, and walked off towards her room, leaving Penny standing in the living room. She decided she needed to freshen up a bit, and went into the bathroom. When she walked in, she did a double take. At one end of the bathroom was a small table with the largest amount of make-up and other assorted cosmetics that Penny had ever seen. There were various colours and shades of lipstick, an astounding amount of nail polish, lots of eyeliner, and a frankly astonishing collection of hair dyes, along with various other types of beauty products.

Penny grinned. Obviously, Frieda's make-up was something she took _very _seriously. Walking over to the sink, she splashed a little bit of water onto her face and glanced at herself in the mirror. Who would have thought the week before, that she would have been in this position? Standing in Frieda Petrenko's bathroom, getting ready to be intimate with her. The idea scared and aroused her in equal measure, and her stomach was making some very strange gyrations.

However, she knew that this was something she desperately wanted - and more than that - _needed. _She'd denied herself any type of social life or romance for far too long now, preferring to hide in work and the hospital. But now she was here, with a woman she truly cared for, and who cared for her. This felt..._right. _Penny had always been prone to self-doubt, and her whole life had been filled with second-guessing herself. However, after some initial doubts had led her to run from Frieda's flat that morning, there was no fear, no doubt in her mind now. This was the way things were meant to be - Frieda and her - _together_.

Penny reached down and pulled off her boots, slowly stripping down to just her panties and a t-shirt. She took a final look in the mirror, took a deep breath, and walked out of the bathroom, towards Frieda's room. She knocked lightly on the door. "Frieda?" she said softly. "Are you ready?"

"Come in." Frieda's voice was low and sultry.

Penny opened the door and gingerly stepped inside. Frieda's bedroom was not as sparsely decorated as the rest of her flat. A large queen size bed dominated the room, with various other smaller pieces of furniture dotted around the room. The two other main bits of furniture were a large wardrobe, and a large clothes rack, filled to bursting with various black, dark red, purple, and other similar colour clothes. Penny guessed they were the clothes that wouldn't fit in the wardrobe.

The only illumination in the room was provided by a large number of candles, covering the surfaces of all the furniture. It gave the room a deeply mysterious and romantic ambience.

However, the main attraction of the room, from Penny's point of view, was Frieda Petrenko. She was draped over the bed, clad only in the briefest set of bra and panties that Penny could envision. She was in an inviting pose, and she wore a tender, open expression. It was one of the most beautiful sights Penny had ever seen.

All she could do for the moment was stare, slack-jawed, at Frieda, until finally she managed to speak: "You look...incredible," she breathed.

"So do you." Frieda beckoned to her. "Come here."

Penny walked over nervously, and sat on the edge of the bed, gasping as she felt Frieda embrace her from behind. Frieda's arms wrapped around her, under her t-shirt, around her stomach, and she planted deep kisses over Penny's shoulders and neck, finally nuzzling into her hair. Penny moaned softly as she felt Frieda's skin against hers.

She let Frieda manoeuvred her onto the bed, lying back and bringing her legs up. Frieda lay down next to her and softly pressed her body into Penny's and stroked her face gently. She looked Penny in the eyes. "Before," she said, in a whisper, "before we do this...are you sure? Because if you are not, we can wait..."

Penny leaned forward and kissed her on the tip of the nose. "I'm sure," she said warmly. "I haven't been as sure of anything for years."

Frieda smiled. "Then," she said in a warm, sultry tone, "let us not waste any more time."

The two women gazed into each other's eyes lovingly, and began to kiss deeply, moving together as one.

* * *

12

* * *

Penny's eyes lazily opened to an unfamiliar sight out of the window. She struggled for a second to realize where she was, and then smiled as she remembered. The feeling of Frieda's warm, naked body wrapped around her certainly helped. She glanced at the clock quickly, and was glad to realize that she still had a while to go yet before she had to get up. Kissing Frieda's forehead softly, she was surprised to see Frieda stir at her touch, and look up at her, warm green eyes filled with affection.

"Good morning, Valentine," murmured Frieda.

"Were you already awake?"

"I have been awake for a while now, yes." Frieda snuggled closer to her. "I was enjoying having you here...the feel of your body next to mine. Wondering what you are like in morning."

Penny buried her face in Frieda's luxurious hair. "Well? Happy with the result?"

Frieda shrugged. "Is okay. Better than I was expecting."

Penny lightly kicked her. "Charming!" she said, in mock-offended tones.

"I am joking..." Frieda pressed her lips to the underside of Penny's jaw. "You are beautiful. Even more beautiful when lying in my bed, naked and vulnerable. Best sight anyone could hope for in morning."

"So are you..." Penny kissed the top of Frieda's head. "Frieda...last night...it was...amazing. I've never felt like that...with anyone before."

"I know...it was...very special for me, too." Frieda hugged her closer. "I wish we could just lay here forever..."

"Me too." Penny moved down so her head was facing Frieda's. "So...what happens now?"

Frieda raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Well, things have changed so much in the past week or so..." Penny shrugged. "I'm just...I don't know what happens from here."

"You are nervous."

"No!" Penny sighed. "Yeah, a little. Things seem to be going so...so right. I'm just a little nervous. It's usually at this point that something goes horribly wrong."

"I know..." Frieda touched their foreheads lightly together. "For me too...sometimes things just go badly after a lot of good things, but this time will be different. I will tell you what happens now, Valentine."

"Oh?"

"You continue to be _amazing _doctor. I will train to be doctor again..."

"You'll be an_ incredible_ doctor..."

Frieda smiled. "Yes - I will train to be_ incredible _doctor, and we will go forward from this point and face everything as team, and even if things go bad again in future, it will be easier, because we will be together."

"I feel like there's nothing we can't do if we're together," said Penny softly.

"That is attitude I like." Frieda hugged her close. "So..." she said softly. "I think you don't have to get up for another hour at least."

"Don't remind me," Penny groaned, and then yelped a little as Frieda rolled her onto her back, and quickly straddled her. "Wow! That was...quick." She raised an eyebrow. "Do you have anything in particular you want to do in that hour?"

Frieda affected a thoughtful look. "Let me think..." and then moved down, pressing her body to Penny's, reaching her hands over to pin Penny's arms down, causing Penny to give a slight gasp. "There are...a few things I can think of..."

"Oh? Could be a bad idea."

Frieda frowned. "Bad idea? Why"

Penny moved her head upwards to kiss Frieda lightly. "Because once we get started, I might not want to stop after only an hour..."

"Hmmm." Frieda pretended to mull the thought over in her head. "Okay - is chance I am willing to take." She gave a large grin, and moved down to kiss Penny.

Penny eagerly accepted Frieda's lips, the feel of the Ukrainian touching her driving her wild. "Oh Frieda..." She moaned between kisses. "I..." She broke off the kiss and looked Frieda in the eyes. "Frieda, I have to say something..."

Frieda frowned. "What? Is something wrong?"

"No..." Penny swallowed nervously. She pulled her hand free and placed it to Frieda's cheek, stroking it tenderly. "I just...want to tell you..." Her voice tailed off. Why was this so difficult to say? "I mean, I..."

Frieda could evidently sense what was going on in her head. She placed her own hand over Penny's. "It's okay," she whispered tenderly. "As I said, we do not have to rush things...there is time."

"I just...want to tell you how much you mean to me..."

"I know...I know how much you care, and I feel same way."

Penny closed her eyes. "No, it's more than that...I..." Tears came unbidden to the side of her eyes. Why could she not put into words what she felt?

Frieda leaned down and kissed her forehead lightly. "I know. Believe me, I know. And for me...is same. It is not easy for me to put into words, but we do not have to hurry these things - there is time."

Penny nodded. "Okay," she said in a small voice.

"Please do not be sad," whispered Frieda. "This is happy time - happiest time for me for very long while. And even though it may be hard for us to speak what we feel, it is still easy to show, with actions."

Penny smiled. "What sort of actions did you have in mind?"

Frieda gave a very large grin, and proceeded to show her - which did indeed end up taking considerably longer than an hour, but neither of the women minded...

* * *

13

* * *

A week passed, and Penny and Frieda's relationship continued as Oliver watched them. They didn't publicise the relationship around the hospital, but they didn't hide it either. People in Holby tended to have their own problems to be occupied with, so no-one really had much time to devote a lot of thought to the new relationship between the two young women.

No-one except Oliver, that was. This new relationship bothered him for reasons that he couldn't quite figure out, so he busied himself with observing it - trying to fathom whether this was genuine, or something else. Of course, spending much of his time trying to sort out the intricacies of a relationship meant that he was tending to neglect his duties - more so than usual, and it was _not _making him popular with the other members of Team Spence.

This annoyed Oliver even more - not only was his sister in a new, weird relationship - but it was impacting his work and putting him off his game. This was leading to a feeling of deep resentment in Oliver's head, especially since Penny's new sense of euphoria over her love life was helping her excel in the department, even impressing the notoriously capable Malick - who of course, still seemed to hate Oliver with a passion.

(Of course, the fact that no-one was forcing him to obsess over this relationship and neglect his work had not occurred to him.)

After a few days of this, Oliver had decided to confront Penny or Frieda and find out exactly what the deal was with this relationship - but that had not proved to be easy. The two women were now practically inseparable, and he hadn't been able to get one of them alone yet. He didn't want to confront them together, in case one influenced the other. He saw Penny at work, but with Malick and Michael's eyes on him, he couldn't take time out to talk to her.

However, near the end of his shift, Oliver finally saw his chance. He had been sent out of AAU on a routine errand - that being the extent to which Michael would trust him at the moment - and happened to spot Frieda, clad in her street clothes, obviously heading for the exit following the end of her shift. Oliver gave a grin - this was his chance. Forgetting for the moment that he was expected back in AAU right away, he sprinted over to Frieda, and called out her name.

Frieda gave a surprised look around, and frowned when she saw who it was. "Oliver? Why are you calling me?"

Oliver leaned in closer to Frieda. "I need to talk to you."

Frieda glanced at her watch. "Not good time. I am meeting your sister in an hour, and I need to..."

"It's about Penny."

"What about her?"

"I need to talk about your...relationship."

Frieda frowned. "Weird. But I do not kiss and tell, Oliver, so I am not going to talk about her while she is not here. Besides, I hear from Penny that you have date tonight, so surely you do not have to live vicariously though her. Although..." She grinned. "She obviously has better taste than you."

Oliver glowered at her. "Oh, I see - that's what this is about? I reject you, so you seduce my sister as a weird form of revenge? That's messed up. I knew you were freaky, but I..."

Frieda cut him off, her voice hard. "Was joke, Oliver - of course I was not serious."

"But you DID have a thing for me at one time, and now you're with my sister - don't you think I should be a little concerned about your motives?"

"I think you should mind own business."

"My sister IS my business." Oliver glared at her. "I don't think..."

"You are right - you do NOT think!" Frieda was trying not to lose her temper now, and it was starting to become obvious. "I thought you were pretty, and yes, I wanted drinks with you, but that was it - I was annoyed when you cancelled, but I was over it a day later. You do not occupy a lot of space in my life, Oliver. I know is difficult for you to accept, but my relationship with your sister is not about you in any way."

"I don't believe you."

"I don't care! Is truth - Penny and I are together because we care for each other, nothing else." Frieda pursed her lips, obviously trying to temper her words. "You should be happy for her, if you cared about her as much as I do."

"Don't assume you know me and Penny as well as you think you do." Oliver was angry now - how dare she try to imply he didn't know Penny as well as she did. No-one understood and cared for Penny as much as he did.

"I think I know her very well, and I care for her a great deal," said Frieda. She took a deep breath. "You should be happy that someone cares for her like this. You should be happy she is happy."

"And should I be happy when she decides her little experiment is over, and you freak out and hurt her, because I think you could be VERY vicious..."

"What?" Frieda's face instantly fell, and the colour drained out of her already pale face. "What...did you say?"

"I said, when her experiment is over..."

"Why do you say experiment?" said Frieda, suddenly speaking in a very small voice.

"Because that's all this is." Oliver folded his arms. "Look, a lot of women do it, okay? They decide they want to give girls a chance for a while, then they go back to men...that's the impression she gave when I talked to her about you..."

Frieda looked into Oliver's eyes, her own eyes suddenly seeming very unsure and lost. "She said that?"

Oliver thought back to their conversation. "Yeah," he said. "That was pretty much it." Of course, thought Oliver, she hadn't said it in as many words, but he could tell. It was pretty obvious to him. "So when she tells you it's through, am I supposed to not be worried?"

Frieda didn't say anything. Oliver frowned - she just seemed to be standing there, lost in her own thoughts.

"Frieda?" Oliver waved a hand in front of her face, and her eyes shot up to meet his - they were filled with fury, and Oliver suddenly saw that she was silently shaking with rage. "So..." he mumbled. "You thought it was serious..." After he said it, he realized that had probably not been the right thing to say at this exact moment.

Suddenly, Frieda let out a deep breath, and seemed to deflate. Her eyes dropped to the floor. "I must go," she said in a quiet, small voice.

"No, wait..." Oliver still needed some answers.

"There you are!" He turned to see a very angry Michael Spence walking towards him. "I told you I needed you back right away! Was that explanation not clear enough for you? Cause I don't think I could make it any simpler."

"I'm sorry..." Oliver gestured towards Frieda, hoping to explain that he had needed to talk to her.

Frieda looked over to Michael. "I am sorry," she said softly. "I was leaving, but Dr Valentine here stopped me, because he needed to speak to me."

Michael glowered at Oliver. "Is that true?"

Oliver opened his mouth to deny it, then realized it was true. "Yes," he mumbled. "I needed to talk to her about Penny. It was important..."

"Really? It couldn't have waited..." Michael glanced at his watch. "An hour? It was so important you had to keep me waiting?"

"I'm sorry..." began Oliver, but was then interrupted by a fourth voice.

"What an interesting sight," said Henrik Hanssen, looming into view. "Three doctors, apparently having quite a heated conversation, none of whom are where they are supposed to be. Perhaps you can explain this, Mr Spence?"

"I can handle this," said Michael, his eyes narrowing. "I was just..."

"I don't doubt it," said Hanssen smoothly. "But please, do share what you are doing with me. I do so enjoy hearing how problems like this are resolved."

"Okay." Michael sighed. "I sent Oliver here on an errand. He didn't come back, and after a while, I went looking for him. I don't like it when doctors go missing."

"As well you shouldn't." Hanssen turned to Oliver. "And you delayed because...?"

"Well," Oliver mumbled, "I saw Frieda here, and I needed to talk to her about my sister...and I didn't know when else I'd get the chance, so..."

"Do not blame me," muttered Frieda. "I was leaving, and this...this boy stopped me. I did not want to talk to him."

Hanssen smiled. "And so, Dr Valentine - you took your chance now. What a commendable brother you are, to place your concern for your sister above your patients. Would that all siblings were so dedicated." His tone was dripping with sarcasm. He turned to Michael. "And Mr Spence! What a diligent leader you are - not only are you concerned with your Doctors' professional skills, but you also try to mediate in their family problems. While admirable, I think that would probably be better suited to when you're not at work, wouldn't you agree?"

"I was just getting Dr Valentine back to AAU right now..." said Michael levelly.

"Excellent." Hanssen turned to Frieda. "And sorry for you being delayed, Sister Petrenko. I imagine you'll be wanting to resume leaving now. And no doubt, both Dr Valentines and you can sort out any problems in your free time. Sadly, you won't have Mr Spence to mediate, but we can't have everything, can we?"

"I am going," said Frieda, shooting a look at Oliver. "Not 'sister' any more, by the way."

"Oh yes." Hanssen shook his head. "With all the changes going on here, it is sometimes difficult for one to remember them all. Good day."

With a final look at Oliver, Frieda stormed off. Hanssen gave a final, slipped smile to Michael, and left himself. Michael watched him go, then whipped his head round to Oliver, his gaze shooting daggers. "Okay, Boy Valentine - let's go back to AAU," he hissed furiously. "I have some special tasks for you."

Oliver sighed as they set off back for AAU. Somehow, he felt that his day was going to be going from bad to worse VERY soon.

* * *

14

* * *

Penny shivered and wrapped her scarf tighter around her throat as she waited outside the hospital. She pulled her phone out again, and frowned. Frieda was supposed to meet her half an hour ago, but she hadn't shown up. Penny had tried calling and texting, but had not been able to get through. She was starting to get a little worried.

The day had been strange. It had started well, but near the end of her shift, Oliver had gone on an errand for Mr Spence, and had been late. Michael had gone looking for him, and returned with a contrite-looking Oliver, and a livid expression. For the rest of the shift, he had Oliver doing the most menial, embarrassing tasks he could find. Penny didn't know what had happened, but hadn't the chance to ask Oliver, given how busy he was. He'd also ended up staying late with one of the tasks, so she couldn't ask him after the shift, either.

She didn't want to be late for Frieda, so she'd left, figuring she could ask Oliver about it the next day. Of course, she thought ruefully, since Frieda was now late herself, she could have easily stayed to ask. She felt bad about running out on Oliver like that, but doubted that Michael would have been very happy for her to distract Oliver from the duties he'd set.

Penny began to grow more concerned. It wasn't like Frieda to be late - and she was only coming from the hospital. Maybe she'd had to stay late to take care of a patient or something. She considered going back inside to look for her - it would be nice to know she was okay.

As she was thinking, her phone rang. She answered it eagerly, not looking to see who it was first. "Hello?"

"Pen?" It was Oliver.

"Ollie?" said Penny, disappointed. "Sorry, I thought you were Frieda. Hey, are you done now? What was the deal with you and Michael? He was really angry with you..."

"So you haven't seen Frieda yet, then?" Oliver's tone was odd. He sounded sort of worried.

"Not yet...she's running a little late. Is everything okay with you? Do you need help or anything?" Penny hated to miss out on seeing Frieda, but Oliver was her brother. She should help him out if he needed it.

"No...I'm fine," said Oliver hesitantly. "Just a bit of bother with Mr Spence, but I think he's okay now..."

"Okay." Penny frowned. "Are you sure? You just sound a bit...weird. Sure you don't need help?"

"No, no..." She could hear Oliver take a deep breath. "Look, it's about you and Frieda..."

"On phone with brother?"

Penny looked around to see Frieda standing beside her. She smiled. "Look, Ollie, I have to go - Frieda's here. Sorry about your bother - I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" She disconnected, and turned to Frieda. "Hey! I was starting to get worried..."

"So, what were you discussing with brother? Discussing me?"

"He did say he wanted to talk about us..." Penny shrugged. "Don't know what he meant. Probably nothing." She moved to kiss Frieda, but she stepped back, out of Penny's reach. Penny was a little shocked. "What's wrong?"

"I think you know." Frieda's voice was low, almost menacing. Penny took a good look at her. Her expression was hard, cold. Her arms were crossed, closing Penny out. Her whole body language was telling Penny that something was seriously wrong.

"Frieda?" Penny held her hands out to her. "Is something wrong? Talk to me..."

"Yeah." Frieda laughed humourlessly. "Yeah. I should talk to YOU. Because you care, right? You care about me?"

"Of course..." Penny was lost. "Of course I care about you, Frieda. What's going on?"

"I should..." Frieda shook her head. "I should never have trusted you. I knew. I knew that this would happen again, but you convinced me. You made me...open myself and let you in, and then this happens. As usual."

Penny closed her eyes for a moment, trying to clear her head. None of this was making any sense. "Frieda, I don't know what's going on," she pleaded, feeling her eyes filling with tears. "Please, let me help!"

"You have..." Frieda's voice cracked for an instant, and she paused to regain her composure. "You have done quite enough, Valentine. I think is probably better if...if...we go our separate ways now."

"You're breaking up with me?" said Penny in disbelief. Tears stung at the side of her eyes, and she tried to blink them away. "Please...at least tell me why?"

"No point delaying inevitable." Frieda stared down at the ground. Her voice was noticeably shaking now, her attempts to keep it level failing. "Is better we end this now...and do not hurt ourselves more than we have...already been..."

"Frieda...please tell me what happened..." Penny reached out her hand to touch Frieda's face, to try to look the other woman in the eyes and find out what was going on.

Frieda suddenly pushed Penny's arm away and her head shot up, angry eyes blazing into Penny's. "I trusted you!" she yelled. "You promised! I asked you before this started, and you swore...you swore this was real!"

Penny involuntarily took a step back, surprised by Frieda's sheer rage. "Frieda," she said helplessly.

"You made fall in..." Frieda leaned her head back, closing her eyes. "I...I asked you if this was experiment, and you told me it was not...and I...I believed you!"

"It's not!" Penny could not keep tears from falling now. "It's real, I swear! Frieda, what's going on? What's making you say all this? Don't you trust me?"

"I did." Frieda locked eyes with Penny again. "And then I talked with your brother."

"What?" Penny was really lost now. "What does Oliver have to do with any of this?"

"He told me what you said. So..." Frieda was practically spitting the words out now. "You and him talk about me behind back, and you confess to him what's really going on, and you expect me NOT to be angry?"

"I didn't say anything like..."

"You abuse my feelings, you...play with me...you f*** me, and then you will leave me! Like I am...am toy!"

"Frieda, please talk to me..." Penny's heart was shattering, and she didn't even know why.

"Forget it, Valentine. This is over, and I am leaving."

"No," begged Penny. "Please don't go..."

Penny reached out her hands to try to grab Frieda's, but Frieda pushed them away. "Goodbye, Valentine. This is it - do NOT try to talk to me again, do not try to follow. Just...leave me alone!" The last sentence was all but screamed out, and Frieda turned on her heel and stomped off, not looking back once.

Penny stood watching her go, paralysed by the shock of what had just happened. What was going on? Why had Frieda reacted the way she had? A sudden, sobering thought came into her head - what if this was it? What if she and Frieda really were over? The thought of never being with the Ukrainian again caused her stomach to lurch, and she fell to her knees, involuntarily emptying the contents of her stomach onto the ground.

She knelt there, her hands freezing on the cold concrete, gasping as the impact of all this hit her. Suddenly, a familiar voice hit her. "Doctor Valentine? Is everything all right?"

Penny looked up to see Elliot Hope standing over her, an extremely concerned look on his face. "Penny?" he said softly. "What's wrong?"

Penny stumbled to her feet. "Oh, Mr Hope..." she couldn't finish the sentence and threw her arms around him, finally allowing herself to let all her pent-up feelings out. She buried herself into his shoulder, openly weeping.

Elliot held her close, allowing her to vent her feelings, simply holding her close in the unwelcoming cold.

Neither of them noticed Oliver Valentine exit the hospital, take one quick look at the duo, then quickly walk off in the opposite direction.


	4. Chapter 4

15

* * *

A little later, Elliot walked back into his office, two mugs in his hand. He walked over to Penny, who was sitting behind Connie Beauchamp's old desk, and handed her one of them. "Here you go," he said softly. "A nice hot cup of tea. After all, it is quite chilly out there."

Penny smiled weakly and took it. "Thank you," she mumbled, and took a quick sip of the tea. It did warm her up, although her stomach was still churning from earlier. "I'm sorry...about earlier."

"Think nothing of it," replied Elliot warmly, taking a seat behind his own desk. "Are you...are you feeling any better?"

Penny shook her head. "Not really."

"I realize..." Elliot paused. "I realize that I may be intruding, but do you want to talk about what happened?"

Penny smiled. "You aren't intruding at all. But I'm keeping you from getting home - you don't want to be stuck here listening to my problems all night - you were heading home."

"Penny," said Elliot with a smile, "I realize you may not be under my direct supervision any more, but I still do have a vested interest, not only in your career, but also your well-being. I do want to make sure you're all right - and I assure you, you're not keeping me from anything."

"Thank you." Penny smiled. There weren't a lot of people she felt comfortable talking to in the world, but Elliot was extremely easy to talk to - and she knew she could trust him. Plus, she couldn't exactly talk to Frieda, and a few things Frieda had said about Oliver make her reluctant to talk to him at the moment. "I really appreciate it." Something occurred to her. "I must look a right state at the moment, after all the crying I did."

"You look fine, but if you're feeling self-conscious..." Elliot pulled a box out of a drawer and handed it to her. "Here are some wipes, if you need them."

Penny smiled in thanks, and quickly wiped her face. The simple act of wiping off her smeared make-up and cleaning her tear-swollen face did help her feel a bit better. After she was done, she looked over at Elliot and took a deep breath. "It's about Frieda."

"Ms Petrenko? I thought I saw her walking off as I was coming out."

Penny nodded. "Well, you know that we are...we were in a relationship." Her voice quavered over the tense change, but she kept going.

Elliot nodded. "I'd heard - people do tend to talk around here. I must say, I was extremely pleased for you - by all accounts, you both seemed to be extremely happy over the past week or so. I know that your...previous relationship had left you rather...low, so I was happy to see you smiling again."

"It was going great." Penny put her head in her hands. "I was really happy with her, and since Scott...you're right, I'd been so low, and there wasn't a lot here that was helping..." She paused. "I was losing faith...in myself, in my abilities...I needed SOMETHING to believe in...and then there was Frieda." She gave a small smile. "I know that to a lot of people she seems cold, weird..."

"I haven't had a lot of experience with Ms Petrenko myself," said Elliot, "though I understand her skills as a nurse were second to none."

Penny nodded. "Definitely, but she's the sort of person who can rub people up the wrong way. God, I mean, we got off on the wrong foot ourselves - hated each other for the longest time." She glanced up at Elliot. "But then...then we got closer, and I knew...I knew that SHE was the something that I could believe in. She...we helped each other. She helped me get my confidence back, helped me on AAU, I was helping her become a doctor again...and then we both realized we'd fallen for each other. And I didn't think things could get any better...we were together, career was going well for a change..." Penny's voice broke again. "And then she leaves me!"

Seeing the tears start to stream back down Penny's face, Elliot pulled his chair over, and handed Penny a tissue. "It's okay," he said softly, putting an arm consolingly round her shoulder. "Everything will be okay..."

"I always think that..." Penny shook her head. "Every time I think there's something good in my life, it ends, and I'm back down here...every time. I just need to stop kidding myself and..."

"Doctor Valentine," said Elliot firmly, turning Penny's chair to face him. "I'm going to be frank with you. I know that you have made one or two choices in your personal life that I...did not approve of, but I have always thought that you were a fine doctor, and can go on to be an exceptional doctor, if you can manage to overcome your one crippling flaw."

"Which is?" asked Penny weakly.

Elliot smiled warmly. "You need to start believing in YOURSELF. I don't know what started it originally, but you never seem to have a very high opinion of yourself. And when you make tiny mistakes, or people put you down, you let it overwhelm you, and you seem to start hating yourself, or wanting to run."

"I do feel worthless sometimes," admitted Penny. "Sometimes I just want to run from everyone I've ever known, and never come back."

"We all make mistakes - and you learn from yours - you fix them. You never make the same mistake twice. I meant what I said, Penny. I do think you are a good doctor, but you need to start trusting yourself more often." He paused for a moment. "Sometimes, people will try to convince you that you're worthless. That you're no longer of use to them or to the hospital - that you're more trouble than you're worth. And sometimes, they will convince you that they're right. But if you believe in yourself - if you KNOW, deep down, that you're good - that you're an asset - you'll keep at it, keep doing your job, and prove to everybody that you still have what it takes."

"I don't know if I can..."

Elliot looked into Penny's eyes. "I know you can. Because you ARE good, and I believe in you. I just need you to start believing in yourself. All right?"

Penny gave a small smile. "Okay. I'll try."

"Good. Now..." Elliot gave Penny a quick squeeze. "As far as fixing things, I think there's something big that you need to fix..."

"Frieda?" Penny shook her head. "She doesn't want to see me."

"Whether she wants to see you or not, I think there's a few things you need to sort out. For a start, why was she so angry at you?"

"I don't...I don't know." Penny tried to think back to what Frieda had said. Only one thing gave her a clue. "She said she had talked with Ollie. She didn't say what he said, but I think that's what started this."

"Then...if I may be so bold - perhaps it would be wise to find out exactly what your brother had said to her?" Elliot gave a reassuring smile. "If you find out what was said, maybe you can try to work and fix it?"

"I'll kill him," muttered Penny. "If he really did start all this..."

"Best not to jump to conclusions...although your brother..." Elliot trailed off. "Well. Never mind."

"I don't know," said Penny weakly. "I don't know if I can...I'm just...I'm just so TIRED. Sick of all of this, all the problems, all the drama..."

"I think that you need to." Elliot sighed. "Do you care for Frieda?"

Penny looked over at him and gave a small smile, nodding.

He smiled back. "Then you definitely need to. I know that...love is not always easy. Sometimes it forces you into situations you would...rather not be in. Or make choices that are not...easy. But believe me, the rewards are far, far greater than the costs."

Penny looked at him for a moment, and enveloped him in a huge hug. "Thank you," she whispered. "I mean it...just...thank you."

"I'm glad I could be of help," Elliot broke off the hug, and looked at Penny. "Now...I believe there's something you need to go and do?"

Penny smiled. "You're absolutely right."

* * *

16

* * *

Penny approached the door, and took a deep breath, then gave the door several loud thumps. When there was no answer, she gave it another few. The door opened, and her brother's face appeared at the crack.

"Penny?" he said nervously. "What are you doing? I have a doorbell..."

"Well, I'm not in a subtle mood." Penny fixed him with a glare. "We really need to talk."

"I know..." Oliver held up a placating hand. "Look, I know you're probably upset..."

"Just a LITTLE." Penny cocked her head to one side. "I'm getting the impression you already know what we need to talk about. Is this maybe about something you said to a certain Ukrainian?"

"Pen, I assure you..."

"Just let me in, Oliver. I'm not doing this through a doorway."

"It's not really a good time..."

Penny raised her eyebrows. "Really? Because I think it's a GREAT time." Ignoring Oliver's protests, she pushed the door open and stormed in past him. "Oliver, I need to know exactly..." Her voice tailed off, as she saw the attractive blonde sitting on the couch, a glass of wine in her hand. "Who is this?"

"Is this your sister?" asked the blonde nervously.

Oliver closed the door and nodded anxiously. "Penny, this is Heather. She works in radiology. Heather, this is my sister, Penny."

"Nice to meet you," said Heather tentatively.

"I don't believe this!" Penny rubbed her forehead. "You ruin my life, and then you still go on your date? What the hell, Oliver?"

"Ruin your life?" Oliver frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"Frieda dumped me," said Penny sadly. "And she said...some really hurtful things, and I think you know why."

"Penny, I swear," said Oliver nervously, "I never meant for you to get hurt. I was only looking out for you - that's what brothers do, okay?"

"I should go." Heather stood up, and grabbed her coat. "I really think that this is a family thing. I'd just be in the way..."

"Heather..." Oliver opened his mouth, but then saw Penny's glare. "You're right...I'm so sorry. Maybe you should go. Look, I'm sorry about tonight..."

Heather held her hand up. "It's okay! You know, family takes priority, right? I'll...maybe see you later."

"I'll call you," said Oliver with a smile.

"You know..." Heather gave a half smile. "It's probably better if I call you. I'll...see you around the hospital, okay?" She gave a cursory wave, and left.

Oliver stared at his front door for a second, and sighed. "Right - so that's another person at the hospital who hates me. Great."

Penny walked over and flopped down onto the couch. "Well, I'm not feeling very fond of you at the moment." She grabbed the discarded wine glass, and downed it in one. "So...please tell me exactly what happened."

Oliver went to sit down beside Penny, but took one look at her face, and sat in a nearby armchair instead. "Penny, look, I'm really sorry about this. I didn't know that Frieda was going to react like that. I saw how upset you were outside the hospital..."

"You saw me? And you didn't do anything?"

"You were with Mr Hope...I didn't want to..."

Penny shook her head. "You didn't want to confess that you'd messed up. God, Oliver, you've always been rotten at admitting your screw-ups."

"I'm sorry!" protested Oliver. "How many times can I say it?"

"First..." Penny looked over at him. "Please tell me what you said to Frieda. I need to know, exactly."

"Okay." Oliver took a deep breath. "It was when Mr Spence sent me on that errand earlier on. I'd been wanting to talk to you or Frieda for a while now..."

"Why?" Penny waved her hand. "No, never mind. Keep going."

"And then I saw Frieda heading out, so I grabbed her and asked her what the deal was with you two..."

"I told you what the deal was last week! It wasn't something that needed a lot more explanation."

"Well..." Oliver paused. "I wasn't...convinced. It just didn't feel...right to me, and I wanted to find out exactly what was going on. So I cornered Frieda, and asked her if this had anything to do with me."

"What?" Penny sat forward. "With you? Because she had a crush on you once?"

"I thought she might be doing it to get back at me, or something," he said tentatively.

"Ollie! I always knew you were self-obsessed, but...not everything in this world revolves around you!" Penny sank back into the sofa. "That couldn't have been everything. What else happened?"

"She got...defensive."

"Understandably."

Oliver shot his sister a look and continued. "So I got a little...annoyed, and I asked her if I should be worried about what she'd do when you broke up..."

"Wait. WHEN we broke up?" Penny glared at her brother. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"I'm sorry...I just...didn't see this lasting, and I thought she was the type of person who would get a little vicious towards an ex." Oliver shrugged. "I didn't know she'd react so badly."

"Not everyone parts on such bad terms as you do," said Penny icily. "Maybe if you didn't womanise QUITE so much, you'd part on better terms."

"Hey, I didn't know this was going to end up with me being insulted," said Oliver in an annoyed tone.

"It could end up with FAR worse than that," muttered Penny. "You're leaving something out. What you said would have been annoying to Frieda, but it wouldn't have caused her to go off like that." She closed her eyes and thought for a moment. "Wait...why did you think this wouldn't last?"

"I..." Oliver paused. "Look, when you told me about the relationship, something just didn't seem right, and I just mentioned it to Frieda..."

Penny's eyes snapped open. "What did you _say_?"

"I just told her that I thought it was just an experiment..."

"What?" Penny shot forward. "You told her that?"

Oliver swallowed nervously. "Just that...I had...sort of got that impression..."

"You told her that you got that impression from me, right?" Oliver gave a quick nod, and Penny put her head in her hands. "Oh God, Ollie. That's what she was talking about. She thinks that I told you that this was an experiment."

"Just that I got that impression..." he added weakly.

Penny shot him a murderous look. "Knowing you, I think you made it sound a _lot_ more definite. You...you stupid ****!" Oliver blinked at the obscenity, but Penny continued. "Do you know what you've done? She was worried about that! She doesn't open up easily - this is a big deal for her. Now she thinks that she opened her heart to a...a..." She struggled to find a word. "Someone who's just playing - that will dump her without a look back."

"Wasn't it?" asked Oliver in a tiny voice. "I mean, is this serious?"

"I told you! That evening - I told you it wasn't just an experiment, but you didn't listen! Oh no, you think you always know best - that poor little Penny doesn't know her own mind. Tell me, Oliver - do you break up my relationships as a hobby, or is it just by accident?"

"I was right about the Scott thing," he said defensively.

"I know." Penny ran her hands through her hair and made an annoyed sound. "And I know you do it because you care, and you're just trying to help, but please - I'm an adult. I can run my own life. I need you to stop trying to run it for me."

Oliver nodded contritely. "I'm sorry, Penny. I really am." He paused. "So, I guess this is pretty serious, then?"

Penny nodded, glancing down as the thought of never being with Frieda again passed through her mind. Tears gathered at the side of her eyes, and she blinked them away. She looked back up to Oliver, and gave a sad smile. "I love her," she said softly.

Oliver blinked in surprise. "Really?"

Penny nodded. "I do. The thought of losing her is killing me...I love her, Ollie. With all my heart." She stood up. "And I need to get her back."

"What are you going to do?"

Penny thought back to Frieda's face as she had told her to stay away. She dispelled the image, and steeled herself. "I'm going to over to her flat, and try to fix things. I'll...explain what happened, and hope she understands..."

"I really didn't mean for anything like this to happen," said Oliver softly. "You know I'd never do anything to hurt you, Pen."

"I know you didn't MEAN for this to happen." Penny glanced away from Oliver. "But I'm still furious with you. You had no right to interfere."

"I know." Oliver couldn't bring himself to meet Penny's gaze. "Are we...are we okay? I mean, you and me?"

Penny looked up at him. "I don't know, Oliver," she said simply. "If everything works out with Frieda, we'll see. But if you've ruined this for me...then..." She looked away again. "I really don't know."

Oliver nodded. "Okay. Well, good luck."

Penny gave a small, tight smile, and left, slamming the door behind her. Left alone in his flat, not knowing if he'd completely alienated the one person he was closest to, Oliver Valentine sank down into his chair and began to softly cry.

* * *

17

* * *

Penny stood on the street outside Frieda's building, and stared up at her window. The lights were on, so someone was definitely home, but there had been no answer from the multiple calls she had made. It had particularly stung to hear that Frieda had changed her voicemail message especially for her - to tell her to not bother leaving a message, as she would just delete them unheard.

Penny couldn't really blame her, though - if she had believed Oliver, then she could understand her anger. Allowing herself to trust, then being told it was all a lie? Penny sincerely hoped she was all right, and hadn't done something stupid. She found herself wondering about the Ukrainian's past. Most of it was still a mystery. Had there been some huge tragedy that forced her to hid her true feelings, and be so cautious about letting people in? Something that had always made her believe the worst about people?

It did hurt slightly, Penny had to admit, that Frieda had been so quick to believe Oliver - that she had not trusted her more. But she forced those thoughts out of her head - she did not know the whole story about Frieda - and this wasn't about blame and recriminations - this was about going to the woman she loved, and getting her back. Making Frieda know how much she cared, and reassuring her that Penny could be trusted - that she would never hurt her. That they could have a life together.

Deep down, Penny wanted to run. Her old instinct to flee from the problems in her life was coming back in full force - but she knew she couldn't run - not this time. This time, she would stay, and fight. She was also heavily craving a cigarette for the first time in months, but she wasn't going to give to THAT temptation either.

Walking into the building, she started walking up the stairs, eventually reaching Frieda's door. She took a deep breath, and rang the doorbell. Nothing. She waited a few moments, and rang it again. Still nothing. Abandoning subtlety, she thumped on the door as hard as she could. Still no response.

Penny sighed and pounded on the door again. "Frieda! It's me! I know...I know you said you didn't want to see me, but I have to talk to you! It's important." There was still no response, so she kept pounding on the door, ignoring the pain on her hand. "I'm not leaving until you talk to me. I know you're in there."

After a few more moments of pounding, Penny heard the latch turning. She stopped and stood back a little bit. The door opened an inch, and a familiar voice came out. "Go away," said Frieda softly. "I don't want to speak to you."

"Frieda..." Penny rubbed her head. "Frieda, at least let me _see_ you."

The door didn't budge. "No. Is not good idea. Didn't you hear what I said to you before, Valentine? I do not want to see you ever again." The voice was weak, lifeless. It barely sounded like Frieda at all.

"We need to talk," pleaded Penny. "It was Oliver. He was trying to mess things up...well, I don't think he meant to, but you know him..."

"No. I gave you chance. You threw it back at me, so we are done. Please..." Her voice cracked for an instant. "Please, just go." The door slammed shut again, leaving Penny alone in the hallway.

Penny's head dropped, and she wiped angry tears from her eyes. She made to turn and leave, shattered at the knowledge that she had ruined one of the only things in her life that meant anything. As she was reaching the stairs, she suddenly stopped and turned around.

_No_. This wasn't how this was going to end. She was _not_ going to give up. She was going to fight. Walking back over to the door, she pounded on it again. "Frieda!" she yelled. "I'm NOT leaving. I'm sorry...but I can't. You mean so much to me, you don't know...I have to fix this. Just give me a chance!" She gave it another pounding. "And I'm not leaving. I'll stay out here all night if I have to."

Her knuckles bruised and smarting, she stopped the pounding, momentarily out of breath. There was no answer. Penny put her head in her hands. That was it, then. Nothing more she could do. A strangled sob escaped from her lips, then a beautiful sound made her look up sharply.

It was the sound of the door opening.

The door swung open, revealing Frieda standing there. "Is...bad idea to stay out here all night. People use floors as toilets here. Would not want that to happen to you." She gestured weakly. "Come in."

Penny gave a weak smile and walked into her apartment. Once inside, she looked at Frieda. She seemed...deflated - lifeless. She was simply clad in a plain pair of pyjamas, her hair loose. The only make-up she was wearing was a lot of black eyeliner. Penny could guess why she was wearing that - although it didn't hide the puffy redness around her eyes very well.

"Sit." Frieda gestured. Penny sat down on an armchair next to the sofa, not wanting to risk sitting beside Frieda just yet. Frieda sat down on the sofa, studiously avoiding her gaze. "So you wanted to talk. Talk, then."

Penny took a deep breath. "I know what you must think of me, and...I don't blame you. But listen, it wasn't me. I never said any of that to Oliver. He was just being...himself. You know how he is. He just didn't believe me when I said this was real, and he preferred to jump to conclusions." She paused for a second to catch her breath. "I never told him that this was an experiment. I told him it wasn't - I _explicitly_ told him that, but he just...thought he knew better."

Frieda glanced over at her for a second, then turned away again. "He must have got the impression from somewhere."

"You know how he is," protested Penny. "For God's sake, he even thought that you were only doing this to get back at him! And that's not true, is it?"

Frieda looked back, anger in her eyes. "You _know_ it is not."

"I do. I would never think that for a second." Penny smiled. "I trust you, Frieda. I know that's just Ollie being self-centred again. I believe in you, Frieda. I'd take your word over his any day of the week." Her smile dropped. "So why won't you take mine?"

Silence. Frieda still would not meet her gaze.

Penny leaned forward, closer to Frieda. "Frieda...this IS real, I swear it. It's not a phase, or an experiment. It's not going to end suddenly with me dropping you for the first hunky guy that comes along. My feelings for you aren't going to go away." She paused to gather her courage. "I...I love you, Frieda."

Frieda looked back over to her, and Penny was shocked to see tears running down her cheeks. She'd never seen her cry before. "I want to believe you," she said weakly. "But...when I thought you had betrayed me, it destroyed me. I haven't felt like this for someone in a long time, and it is...it is scary."

"Believe me," whispered Penny, "it is for me too. But isn't what we have worth the risks?"

Frieda looked at her for a moment. "Forgive me, Valentine," she said quietly. "In past, I have been...HURT...very badly. Many bad things happened, and I am...terrified of what I feel for you. Terrified that I will be hurt again. And...I know it is hurtful for you - to think that I do not trust you..."

"Frieda..."

"It is hard for me to trust..." continued Frieda, "and I thought I did, but then when your brother talked, I just thought the worst of you. I am sorry...maybe I am too much work..."

Penny shook her head. "No, Frieda, don't think that...I want this...I want US." She could feel tears running down her own cheeks now as well. "I don't know what happened to you in the past. But I promise you - I won't hurt you."

Frieda stared at her for a few seconds, then nodded. "I believe you," she whispered. "And...I want us to be together too. More than anything."

Penny smiled through her tears. "Oh, Frieda..."

The two women stared at each other for a moment, then Penny moved over to the sofa, and wrapped her arms around Frieda tightly, holding her close. Frieda did the same, resting her head on Penny's shoulder. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I'm so, so sorry."

"No..." Tears were still streaming down Penny's face. "I'm sorry...my stupid brother. I never meant to hurt you."

"I should have trusted you," said Frieda tearfully. "I'm sorry...it is not easy..."

"What happened?" whispered Penny into Frieda's ear. "Who hurt you like that?"

"Later," said Frieda softly. "We have all the time in the world for that."

Penny broke off the hug, and leaned her forehead against Frieda's. "So, we'll be together for a while then?" she asked happily.

"For ever, Valentine." Frieda reached out a hand and lightly touched Penny's cheek. "You're still crying..."

"Happy tears," said Penny with a small grin. "Anyway, so are you."

"The same. Tears of joy..." Frieda leaned over and lightly kissed Penny. "Please forgive me...you are different from...others in my past. I know that. I will try to trust you in future."

"And I'll try to keep my idiot brother from almost ruining things." Penny's voice faltered. "Frieda, how I felt when I thought I'd lost you...I don't know if I..."

"Sssshhh." Frieda placed a finger on Penny's lips. "I know. I felt same way. Let us not trouble ourselves with thoughts of what might have been. We are back together, and we are okay." She looked into Penny's eyes nervously. "We ARE okay, right?"

Penny held her close again. "We're more than okay - we're amazing."

"Watch out, AAU, huh?"

"Exactly." Penny drew back again, and pulled Frieda to her in a deep, passionate kiss. It felt like the coolest, sweetest drink after a long drought. She didn't care about the salty taste of the tears still covering their faces. She didn't care that they both must look a sight with all the running make-up. All she cared about was that she was kissing Frieda Petrenko, the woman that she loved, and that they were back together.

She started running her hands through Frieda's luxurious hair, pulling her closer, never wanting to let her go again. As she was doing that, she dimly became aware that Frieda's hands were running up under her jumper, trying to pull it off. Penny let her pull it off, pulling her back into the kiss, then gasping as she felt Frieda begin to undo her trousers.

She pulled back slightly, and found Frieda staring at her, a hungry look in her eyes. "Frieda..."

"I want you," said Frieda in a low growl, easily pulling Penny's trousers off in one deft movement. "I just..._need_ to be with you right now. Because of all this...I just need to _feel_ you with me..."

Penny grinned and nodded. "I understand." She pressed her lips to Frieda's again, grabbing the bottom of Frieda's pyjama top, and pulling it over her head, before quickly moving on to the bottom half. She gasped slightly at the sensation of Frieda's skin on her's - a feeling she would never tire of - and pushed the Ukrainian back onto the sofa.

She broke off the kiss for one quick moment to look Frieda in the eyes, and stroke her face gently. "I am very glad we're back together, Frieda Petrenko," she whispered in a sultry way, "and I plan to show you _just_ how glad..."

"Enough talk." Frieda smiled warmly at Penny, quickly divesting her of the rest of her clothes. The two women shared a look, filled with devotion, and began to make love, as tenderly and passionately as they possibly could. They shared every part of themselves, gave themselves completely over to each other, and showed each other just how much love and compassion was present in this relationship. It was a night neither woman would forget for the rest of their lives.

* * *

18

* * *

Some hours later, they were still on the sofa, curled up in each other's bodies, simply holding each other tight. Penny made a satisfied grunt as she shifted a little, savouring the feel of Frieda's bare skin next to her's. Deep down, she knew that it must be incredibly late, and that she had work in the morning, but she didn't care. She was here with Frieda, and they were a couple again. That was all that mattered.

"I think your phone buzzed," mumbled Frieda sleepily.

"Leave it. The only person I want to talk to is right here." Penny lightly kissed Frieda's forehead. "You know, we're just laying here, naked, on your sofa, clothes everywhere. We should probably move to the bedroom or something. I'm feeling a _little_ exposed."

"I like it." Frieda gave a lazy smile. "Means I get to stare at all of you. No way to cover up. Besides," she raised an eyebrow and slowly stroked the inside of Penny's thigh with her leg, "do you _really_ want to move?"

Penny gasped a little. "Ah...no, when you put it like that...ohhhh...you really need to stop doing that."

Frieda started to swirl her hand lightly over Penny's stomach. "Stop doing what?" she asked innocently.

Penny kissed her. "You're rubbish at sounding innocent, you know." She rested her head on Frieda's chest. "Mmmm...you're insatiable, you know that?"

"I have lot of affection to give." Frieda shrugged. "Before you, I had not been with anyone for over a year. Is a long time."

"Yeah, me too...well, almost a year, anyway..." Penny grinned. "I mean, there was obviously...solo...fun, if you know what I mean, but it's not quite the same, is it?"

"Not even close...although I was equally guilty of doing that." Frieda paused, then gave a sly grin. "I thought of you when I was doing it, you know," she said huskily.

"Really?"

Frieda nodded. "I used to imagine us, together. Was very...exciting." She gave Penny a sly look. "Did you do same? You can tell me, Valentine."

Penny flushed bright red. "No. Remember, I was repressing my feelings for you pretty bad - trying to convince myself I didn't have them." She paused for a second. "I did..." she muttered hesitantly, "have dreams about you."

Frieda propped herself up on her elbow. "Really? This is _very_ interesting. Please continue."

Penny was blushing furiously now. "It's...embarrassing."

Frieda shot her a look. "Valentine, we are both naked on my sofa. Is probably beyond the point to feel self-conscious now."

"Okay." Penny shrugged, still flushed. "It's nothing, really. Just...a few times, I'd have these incredibly erotic dreams, where you would seduce me - it was always you seducing me, not the other way round - then events would go all...sexy. I'd always awake in a sweat, moaning like hell, and really, really horny."

"Wow." Frieda raised an eyebrow. "No idea I was so...aggressive. Do you often have kinky fantasies about being dominated, Valentine?"

"Not until I met you..." Penny shook her head. "Anyway, it only happened a few times, and I always put it out of my head - I thought it was just all the stress over work, and us not getting on. You know, just my mind going to weird places because of all the tension at work. I didn't think it meant I wanted you." She paused. "Although, I realise now that I _did_."

Frieda leaned over and kissed her forehead. "We were inevitable. I see that now."

Penny grinned. "I'm very glad that was true." Her phone buzzed again, and she frowned. "Who the hell keeps texting me?" Sighing, she reached an arm out to her purse, pulling the phone out. There was several unread texts from Oliver, all asking if everything was okay with Frieda.

"Is it from brother?"

Penny nodded. "Wants to know if everything is okay with us."

"How kind," said Frieda dryly.

"Yeah..." Penny stared at her phone. "You know, it's incredibly tempting to just let him stew and worry. He DID almost ruin things for us."

"True." Frieda looked down guiltily. "I will not lie. I am still angry with him - and myself for believing him - and it would be very easy to torture him for long time. But..." She sighed. "He is family, and family is important."

"I know." Penny stared at her phone again. "You're right...my anger is still there, too. But I know how bad he must be feeling, and he IS my brother. He might be an arrogant, interfering idiot, but I know that he does care about me a great deal." She glanced at Frieda regretfully. "I should let him know we're okay."

Frieda nodded in agreement. "Is right thing to do."

Penny gave her a small smile, and quickly texted Oliver. She let him know that she and Frieda were fine, and that although she was still angry with him, he was still her brother, and she still loved him. Feeling glad she had made the right choice, she set her phone down again, and turned her attention back to Frieda. "So...where were we?"

Frieda smiled, and Penny reached out to stroke her cheek. "You know," she said softly. "You smile a LOT when we're alone. Most people think you're so grumpy and cold...but you aren't. You're funny, and warm, and emotional, and passionate..."

"Just keep it to yourself," said Frieda. "Will be hard for me to scare people if this gets out."

"You can trust me."

"I know." Frieda's face fell slightly. "Penny...I _do_ trust you. I was scared...before. That is why I reacted the way I did. You are right - I do present a certain image to most people, and keep them away. And when I let someone in...it is big deal. And when I feel that my trust has been betrayed..."

"I know." Penny hugged her close again. "Frieda, it's okay. We both have things to apologize for...it's over now. We're okay - don't beat yourself up over it."

"No, I must tell you this..." Frieda pulled back again, giving Penny a quick look, then looking down self-consciously. "I will always trust you in future. This was...one-time problem. I just became scared because of what I felt for you...something I have not felt in long time. Feeling that way, then finding out it might be false...that is what caused me to react the way I did."

"What do you mean?" Penny was a little confused.

Frieda looked up, into Penny's eyes. "Tell me again what you said last night. About how you felt..."

Penny smiled. "I love you, Frieda."

Frieda closed her eyes for a second, then gave a small smile. "I reacted the way I did because...I love you, too."

Penny felt her stomach gave a small jump, and her eyes widened. "You do?" she whispered.

Frieda nodded shyly. "I have not felt like this in a long time...perhaps never. But I knew I loved you, and then when I thought you may not love me back...I overreacted. Again, I am sorry." Her eyes flicked down again. "It will not happen again."

"Frieda, don't be silly." Penny could not keep a huge, goofy grin from spreading all over her face. "If you'll forgive my family problems and stupid moods, I can forgive you anything. We're fine...no, we're more than fine - we're...incredible!"

A smile crept over Frieda's face too. "Good." She leaned forward and kissed Penny quickly, then lay her head down on Penny again, snuggling up against her.

Penny held her close, her mood becoming euphoric. "Tell me again," she said giddily.

"Persephone Valentine, I am in love with you," whispered Frieda softly.

"And I'm in love with you too, Frieda Petrenko." They lay there, basking in each other's presence, both unwilling to move, unwilling to let go of the one they loved most in the world for as long as possible. They dozed there, occasionally planting kisses on one another, or just luxuriating in the feel of the other's skin. Finally, Penny awoke from a slight daze, and sighed. "You know, we probably should get to bed. I mean, we do both have work in the morning."

"Valentine, have you looked at clock recently?"

"No. I mean, I was kind of busy. Weren't you?" she said in a mock-accusing tone.

Frieda rolled her eyes. "Yes, but is literally six inches from our heads. Is hard to miss."

Penny's eyes went to her side, noticing for the first time the clock sitting on the table beside the sofa. "Oh," she said, feeling a little silly. "Oh!" she said in a louder tone once she saw what time it was. "Wow. I didn't think it was that late...or early, I should say. The sun will be up soon." She yawned. "Damn, I'm going to be tired today. Quite worth it, though," she added with a grin.

"I agree." Frieda thought for a moment. "Not that I want to deprive you of your beauty sleep - though of course you need it..." Penny scowled and mock-bit Frieda's shoulder. "But I have idea..."

"Oh?" Penny cocked her head to one side. "What sort of idea?"

Frieda just grinned.

* * *

19

* * *

Frieda opened the door, and gave a quick look around before walking out, holding two blankets, beckoning for Penny to follow her. Penny wrapped her dressing gown a little tighter around herself and walked out onto the roof of Frieda's building. Frieda closed the door behind her, and quickly locked it. "So," said Penny, "how did you come to have a key to the roof again?"

Frieda shrugged. "You never know when it will come in handy."

"And we're not likely to be disturbed?" Penny glanced around nervously.

Frieda leaned over an gave her a quick peck on the tip of her nose. "Relax. It is just before dawn, and besides, as I told you - there is not really any sort of maintenance people here at moment. We are quite safe." She gave a quick glance around. "Ah - over there will give us best view." Walking over to a space just beside the doorway, she lay a blanket on the ground, and gave Penny a quick smile. "Come here."

Penny walked over and sat down on the blanket. Frieda sat next to her, wrapping the second blanket around both of them, and snuggled in close. Penny wrapped an arm around her and kissed her hair softly. "Should be soon," she said quietly.

Frieda nodded.

As the women held each other and watched, the first rays of sunlight stretched out over the city, bathing them in its light. Penny turned to Frieda and smiled. "You're right, this is beautiful."

"Never watched the sunrise before?"

Penny shook her head. "Not really. And certainly never with anyone as special as you."

"Neither have I." Frieda looked her over. "You are beautiful in the morning light."

Penny looked at Frieda. The dawn light caught her green eyes perfectly, the sunlight lit up her pale face wonderfully, her hair looked even more lustrous than usual - it was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen. "I love you," she whispered. "More than you will ever know."

Frieda kissed her, her lips lingering on Penny's for an ecstatic moment. "I love you too," she said with a smile. "So...we are together. We are stronger than ever. What is next?"

Penny thought for a moment. "Deciding which apartment to move into?"

"Oh, yours, definitely. _Much_ nicer than mine. Plus, from the looks of things - your music and film collection could do with an injection of art."

"Oh really?" Penny raised an eyebrow. "You've thought this through well."

"One of us has to be practical one." Frieda shrugged. "I think we both know you are not suited for that task."

Frieda kicked her lightly. "You're all charm, Petrenko."

"Seriously though - I will tell you what happens next." Frieda paused for a second. "I will open up with you. I know so much about you, but so far, I have been very careful with what I have let you know. But now...I love you. You deserve to know all about me. This is...difficult for me. But you..." She smiled at Penny. "You are worth it."

"I'm honored," said Penny softly. "And I do want to know all about you. At a speed you're comfortable with - we don't have to rush it."

Frieda nodded in gratitude. "Thank you." She gave a small, almost shy smile. "I am very glad I met you, Penny Valentine."

"And meeting you was the best thing that's ever happened to me, Frieda Petrenko," replied Penny, returning the smile.

The two lovers sat back, safe in each other's arms, watching the dawn. Bathed in the sun's light, they both knew that although it had been a long, often hard journey, they were were now where they belonged - together.

* * *

_**The End.**_


End file.
